Heal Our Land

I read a blog today that gave me some new information on Mitt Romney. Apparently, he's been quoted in the news as saying that he will not pursue anti-abortion legislation. Let me repeat that, He will not pursue ANY ANTI-ABORTION LEGISLATION.

I know a lot of people who are basing their vote solely on the abortion issue. (Just to be clear, I have no problem with that and if I thought Romney could/would actually do something, I'd probably vote for him.) When your candidate comes out and says something like that, what now are you basing your vote on?? He said he's not going to do anything about it; he's not even pretending. Politicians lie all the time; he didn't have to say that. He said it BEFORE being elected; that man does NOT care about the abortion issue. He will not pursue it.

I've heard so much talk about praying for revival and for the healing of our land and for people to turn to God. And then the same people talk about how awful things are going to get and how if we don't do more that Christians are going to be persecuted and killed and churches will be outlawed. Has it not occurred to anyone that the second is the answer from God to the first??

Churches blossom under persecution; the Church grows and is strengthened! The fakers and pew-warmers flee and the Church erupts in new life! Why? Because suddenly we MUST lean on Him for everything! The crutch of the government is taken away; the idols of comfort and financial security are stripped from us. In that instance, we have to look to God for our peace, for our security, for our comfort, for our joy. Suddenly, prayer doesn't have to be preached on because everyone is constantly praying. Suddenly, things like pants on women are not important - but staying faithful and being bold witnesses are. Suddenly, the peripheral things again find their proper place and we have to keep our eyes on Jesus.

For so long we've been looking at our country and asking God to renew it; doesn't anyone think that maybe that's EXACTLY what He's doing? Our churches are in sorry shape. And we know this! And we pray that God would give us revival. Maybe He's doing just that. Maybe He's answering all our prayers. Have you thought about that? Maybe God is giving us what we asked for through OBAMA?

No political maneuvering, no human figure is going to save our country; it doesn't have that power. Only GOD has the power to save or destroy a nation. And what does God use to turn a nation around? He uses His Word, spread through His people. We pray that God will turn our nation toward Him. Well, guess what. We might have to pay physically for that to happen. We might need to lose friends and family to jail and execution. I may need to die for that revival; harder still, I may have to watch my husband die for that revival.

In the face of that, do we still trust that God is doing what is best for us? Or is our faith so weak that the thought of physically paying a price for the privilege of being God's child too frightening for us? Where is the attitude of Peter and the other disciples who REJOICED that they were counted worthy to suffer for Christ's name? Where is that? 'Cause it seems to be strangely lacking in every conversation about how bad our nation is going to get and how difficult things are going to be for Christians before too long.

We pray for God to heal our land; are we then going to be upset because He might not do it the way we want? Are we going to prescribe the ways that He is "allowed" to turn our nation? Are we going to say, "We only want Your face to shine upon us in THIS way?" The pride is so rampant. Do we think we know better than God?

In conclusion, I'm not saying don't vote for Romney; I'm just saying if your only reason is abortion, he's not going to do anything for it anyway. That might be worth re-evaluating. But more importantly, don't think that the persecution that may or may not be coming is so dead-set a bad thing. God only does what is good for us. If it comes, it's GOOD! God has not given us the spirit of FEAR, but of POWER, and of love, and of a sound mind. We have no need to be anxious. We do our best; we follow God with all our heart and soul and strength and mind; and God takes care of everything else. And if that means Obama for another four years, if that means the imploding of the U.S., then THAT is GOOD.

We are the CHILDREN of the ALMIGHTY. We are the beloved of the Creator! Don't we trust His love?

Teleportation

So I've been mulling over an idea. Not for very long, but I think it has a lot of potential. The world should stop spending money on developing weapons, on war, and on everything space-related for a while. Instead, we take all that money and use it to make personal teleportation devices.

Or! Even something like a Star Trek Transporter. You give the guy running a location, they send you there! Voila! Yes, the airline and automobile companies would hate it. But hey, do we really LIKE those companies? Sure, they serve a purpose, but I wouldn't be sad to see them get replaced. Especially by a teleportation device.

We could have huge devices that transport lots of people and little ones for personal use. They could replace things like the subway and bus routes with previously programmed locations. Imagine all the time saved, the lack of traffic and air pollution, the elimination of needing so much parking space. Instead of a parking garage, you could have a teleportation garage - this floor has transporters that take you to such-and-such region.

Yes, we would also need to have some kind of shield to keep things out - can't have people apparating into the middle of Congress or something.First, let's get the teleporter worked out though.

But seriously. It's an awesome idea, right? There would be people, of course, who would refuse to use them. The rest of us though? I could go to Michigan for an afternoon for a baby shower with my friends and family and be back home in CaliLand that evening to make dinner for my Sweetie! You could take music lessons from someone halfway around the world.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Well, I have my piano lesson in Moscow at eleven, and then I'm meeting some friends for lunch at the Eiffel Tower."

Need to evacuate a town due to flooding or a tornado? No problem! And no worries about people getting stuck on the way out if it's a huge city.

Like I said, I think it has potential.

Faith

Faith is just believing what God says He will do.

Faith is NOT believing that God will give me what I want. God did not promise me stuff. God did not tell me He would give me everything I want. In fact, by virtue of the fact that I am sinful and have a deceitful, desperately wicked heart, it stands to reason that God has promised to WITHHOLD things that I want. Because what I want sometimes is not good for me, and God always gives His children what is best.

Faith is not believing that life will be easy, that things will go smoothly, that God will come to the rescue in the nick of time. Faith is looking at the worst thing you can possibly imagine coming straight toward you with you being able to see not the slightest chance of God changing things and saying, "Nevertheless, not what I will, but what Thou wilt." Faith is surrendering the idea that I know better.

I went to the Dr.'s office last Friday. They wanted to do a test for Strep B; I was freaking out about it for over a week because I like my privacy. I like it lots. I feel violated and dirty when people invade my privacy like that. It doesn't matter if they have the best motives in the world (which, by the way, keeping my little girl safe is a pretty amazing motivation for something). It doesn't matter why; it doesn't matter who. It makes my whole mental/emotional being recoil in an intense feeling of revulsion - stronger than anything I have ever felt.

But I went into that office and I sat down and I disrobed my lower half and I waited for it. The day before I spent the afternoon and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed that God would save me from it. And I always knew that He was able. I didn't have any idea one way or the other if He would; all I knew at the end of all that praying was that He didn't want me to worry about it anymore. He gave me peace. That is not to say that He gave me a promise that there wouldn't be a storm tomorrow; but that day, He gave me peace. So I did my best not to think about it and not to worry, and He helped me.

I went into the Dr.'s office and God saved me from that horrible experience. God did not have to save me. But He did. The next day, I drove Zack's car to church for the first time. I was very scared, very tense and very afraid. And I prayed the whole way that God would save me. And He did, even though I still had to drive the car.

One, He protected me from completely; He took me right out of that situation. The other, He brought me through safely to the other side. Both times He saved me.

I don't know what's going to happen with our apartment. I don't know where we're going to live or how we're going to afford it; I really think in a year, I may be sitting in the same place as I am now writing again. That is not a lack of faith. Faith doesn't predict what God is going to do, unless God has already SAID it. God never told me we would have a different place next year, that we wouldn't be losing money every month, that we would ever NOT be very poor. He never promised that we would get ahead.

What God told me is that all things work together for my good. What God told me is that He is perfect. What God told me is that He loves me more than I can ever fathom. What God told me is that He is worth far more than everything. And I believe that.

If I am here next year, it is not because God failed me or because I did not have enough faith. It's because it was best and because He is good. And as much as I want to move and have wanted to move for about a year now - if this is best, I want it more than I want to move. I don't know what's coming; only God knows. Only God knows if we would be able to afford a different place in six months. Only God knows if Zack is going to have a job. Only God knows if there are going to be complications with the birth that lead to stacking Dr.'s bills that would make us long to be back here. Only God knows.

If we are here, I believe - without any doubt though I do not understand and may never see a reason this side of Heaven - I believe completely that it is best and God is good.

Heaven is a Wonderful Place

So church on Sunday was pretty awesome. My husband preached - which is a very interesting thing. I used to wonder what it was like to be the wife of the preacher and sitting there in church listening to him. But that's digression.

Church was pretty awesome because God gave me this little epiphany type of thing about the Trinity. The topic of the Trinity has been coming up with some regularity for a while now. At home, at church, at the Tuesday night Bible study. And there's been this disconnect with me about this one aspect. I don't really know if I could adequately explain it, but Sunday, Zack said it in a way that I finally understood. "Jesus has always been the revelation of the Father."

To say that Jesus is the revelation of the Father to me makes it sound like the Bible. But the Bible wasn't always there. It was revelation. It came AFTER something. But Jesus has always been the revelation of the Father. That's Who He is.

I know I don't understand that as much as I want to, but it was pretty awesome. And then Zack was talking about Heaven, and having just had this new bit of understanding opened for me, I suddenly got really excited about Forever. Because Forever is going to be one little bit of understanding after another, after another; and it's never going to stop!

Heaven is going to be forever seeing a new bit of an infinite God. It's like a never-ending Christmas. Think of all the nice things about Christmas. The songs - there will tons of singing in Heaven. The people - being with family and friends; in Heaven we'll have ALL the family that's gone on before along with billions of new siblings that we never knew before! The gifts - God has already lavished so much on us. Even if, IF, He didn't do anything new for us (which I find pretty much impossible to believe), since we'll be perfect then, we'll be able to appreciate everything He's done in the past with so much more clarity.

And you know how things are better when you have someone else to get excited about it with you? We're going to be surrounded with people who are just as thrilled and excited about God and who are going to be rejoicing with us perfectly! There won't be anyone around that you won't be able to start talking to about what God has done for you and what He taught you recently.

I was also thinking about how God made us all with different strengths and different forms of creativity. I think we tend to think of Heaven as being very limited in scope. We tend to think only of the more pious things here on Earth as being "worthy" of Heaven, so to speak. We'll sing praises and listen at His feet like Mary. I don't think that's all we'll do. I think we'll have places to go and be creative; I think I'll still write poems in Heaven. And King David will write more psalms. And Zack will play his violin. And my mother-in-law will have a garden. And someone will be training the dog and pony show.

Because part of absorbing good is having an outlet for it. We're not just sponges. We absorb and then we turn around and spin it out again in a way that means something specific to us. I think our creativity may be one of the things that most proves that we are made in the image of God. Whether we're painters or musicians or dancers or baseball players, we all have something that we are good at or that we REALLY enjoy. Can you imagine the football games we could have in Heaven? =D

And the greatest thing about it all that is it will ALL be GOOD - because it will ALL be for God. It will be what it's supposed to be here. It will all be from hearts overflowing with joy and praise and love and worship. And no matter what we do, whether we eat or drink or sleep, whether we sit or stand, whether we are silent or shouting with all the power in our body, it will finally ALL be to the glory of God!

IT'S SO EXCITING!!!!!!

Ants

Last night I walked into my bathroom to discover that it was pretty well infested with ants. They were in my sink and my tub, on the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling. There was a nice line of them (the ants go marching one by one!) that led to this really hard-to-reach corner in my bathroom, which has always looked terrible with peeling paint and the wood trim around the edges coming loose.

I was about to leave for work, so I couldn't really take the time then to do much except spray down the corner where they seemed to be most congregated with window cleaner (which kills them quite quickly), and hope that they didn't recover and make it into the little hallway before I got home again.

Eventually - after squishing and spraying probably around a 100 little ants - I think I've beaten them again. Tonight will tell; they're always busier after dark.

But while I was battling the remnants of them this morning, something occurred to me. These ants, these little bugs that get on everything have never hurt me. I don't know if they could hurt me. Some ants can - fire ants and army ants and such. But these ones? They're just super annoying and gross.

And then I was thinking about how we might compare the difference between us and ants to the difference between God and us, and how one day, the world will rise up in open, willful, conscious defiance against God. They won't just be ignoring Him; they'll be on the offensive.

There was this kind of humorous thought that came to me while I was thinking about that - the ants really bother me. They gross me out, and if I happen to get one on me, it immediately has my full attention as I try to get it off as quickly as possible. But people aren't even the harmless ants. Their "offensive" isn't even going to have the power to ANNOY God. They can't get into His proverbial bathroom without Him allowing it. They can't MOVE without Him giving them strength and health. They can't LIVE without HIM. And they're going to go on the offensive??

Reminds me of that quote from Batman: the Dark Knight - "You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands; and your plan, is to BLACKMAIL this person?"

Really?? That's your plan?? You can't LIVE without God and yet somehow you find it a good idea to try to remove Him from the equation? Even from a purely selfish standpoint, that is the dumbest thing ever. Either way, it leaves you DEAD!

Sometimes it's just so funny how pitiful we are. It's like when I was super little and I would wrestle with my dad. My parents would laugh and smile and it was funny! Because I couldn't MOVE him at ALL. I remember exactly what it felt like - it was like running into a slightly cushioned boulder, like pushing on a mountain.

So that was my funny thought today. It can also be sad and sobering and a lot of other things; but today it hit me as funny.

Yesterday

Yesterday, I was sad. I was heartbroken; I was in mourning.

Why? Because we heard that our bank account was going to be spent on our car. That doesn't sound good, does it? It sounds like loving money; it sounds like loving stuff.

It wasn't. It wasn't the money; it was what the money represented. It represented going home for Christmas, being able to donate more than change to RMD4Em. They were good plans, but they were my plans, and God was showing me something - I was making plans without saying, "if God wills." They were MY plans. They were nice plans; they were good plans; but they didn't take God into account. There was no addendum of, "If God allows us, this is what we shall do."

It was hard to think of missing Christmas with my family. It's a funny thing; yesterday, in my head, I was comparing myself to Abraham. I was thinking, God is testing me. God is asking me to put His will first, to say, "I know You know best. If You say I cannot go home for Christmas, then somehow, despite my understanding, I know that it is better for me not to go." Now, I know I wasn't being asked to sacrifice my child; but giving up Christmas with my mama, getting to introduce my dad to my little girl, spending the holidays with my siblings, getting to play in the snow? Those things are very dear to me. VERY dear.

And somehow, even though I made the same connection of God testing me, God asking if He is most important, I didn't think that He was going to tell ME, "Stop; put not forth your hand." I was not expecting to "get off easy."

I cried a lot yesterday. I couldn't sing; I could hardly talk most of the day; I was exhausted, but I couldn't rest. There was a hymn that came to mind early yesterday, and it just kept coming back to me. "All the Way my Savior Leads Me." All the verses were so fitting.

"All the way my Savior leads me; what have I to ask beside? Can I doubt His tender mercy, Who through life has been my guide?" Such fitting questions! Did one day erase all that God had done for me?

"All the way my Savior leads me, cheers each winding path I tread, gives me grace for every trial, feeds me with the living bread. Though my weary steps may falter, and my soul athirst may be, gushing from the Rock before me, lo! a spring of joy I see." Jesus led me all the way. I was not alone; I was not without help, without grace. He hadn't left me to bear my burden without any hope, without any comfort.

"All the way my Savior leads me. O the fullness of His love! Perfect rest to me is promised, in my Father's house above." What was one year, compared to eternity with Him? One Christmas cannot compare with that!

He led us there; He led us out again.

This morning, we got a phone call. Our spark plug had been fused to whatever is under it. This morning, they got it separated. Between eight hundred and a thousand dollars LESS than what they'd told us yesterday. Today, God said, "Put not forth your hand." Today God spared my proverbial Isaac. Today, God turned my mourning into joy and laughter. Jesus led me all the way.

Oh, that men would praise the Lord for His goodness and His wonderful works to the children of men!

Nevertheless

I've been struggling with something lately. It waxes and wanes in difficulty. Tonight was very hard, but God is faithful and will not suffer us to be tempted above that we are able, but will, with the temptation also make a way of escape that we may be able to bear it.

I would love it if this one fear never came to be; and while I will keep praying for that, I know very well that God's will is better than mine. Though I cannot tell what His plan is yet, I know it's best. And, with His help, I come round again to saying, "Nevertheless, not my will but Thine be done."

My heart it cries; the tears run down
My face is filled with pain
Not outward things, but inward griefs
On me are heavy lain
 
To You I lift my voice and cry,
To You I turn for strength
To You, my God, the faithful One
Whose mercies have no length

For all of You cannot be measured
You are eternity
And so to You I bring my prayers
Look down on me and see

O Lord of hosts, Thou strong Deliverer
Be Thou my portion now
My hour is coming fast - draws near!
My terror will not bow

To me it gives not any heed
I cannot conquer it
Too many times it throws me down
And how much I wish to quit!

Too great for me is this my care!
Too much for me to hold
I know I do not have the strength
Underneath, I shrink and fold

Yet You are strong! Your arm is long!
And Your promises I own
That You'll be with me the entire way
I will never be alone.

You tell me here to cast my cares,
To lay them all on You.
I do not know if I can throw,
But help me this to do:

To put them down, to leave behind
To let them go for good.
To trust Your love; to love You more
To know when I can't, You could

And though I pray You'd save me now
And give me full relief
Yet more I pray and ask of You
"Lord, help mine unbelief!"

Make me trust You in Your grace
Make me love Your will
Make me able to truly say
"In this, I follow still."

For not my will but Thine be done!
It is my greatest prayer
And if Thy will be pain and grief
Then help me them to bear

And on You, and in Your arms
At last to rest secure
For You alone are good and kind
You are the only cure.

And here I find as I have before
There is peace with You.
You answer again; You leave me not
What You've said, you always do.

Not Romney, Not Obama - then Who?

Every time I hear something from Romney or about Romney, I get more and more sure that I cannot vote for the man. Others feel differently - I get that. You want someone who can win. You want someone with a chance. And you would take Sauron over Obama. (I've been rereading LotR.)

I really do get it. However. . . Is Romney the ONLY person with a CHANCE?

Believe it or not, I'm not actually talking about Ron Paul or anyone in particular. I'm talking about someone that maybe you and I haven't heard of - but others have!

I'm not sure how I got there, but I found the Libertarian candidate - Gary Johnson. I haven't done much research on the guy (yet), but I was wondering how many people I know have done any looking outside of the two main candidates At All. I'm pretty sure most of my conservative friends and family are in the same boat as me about two things - we don't want Obama; we don't want Romney. Maybe we wanted Santorum or Paul or even Bachmann before, but we didn't want Romney and we didn't want Obama.

The only difference is that some of them are willing to go with someone we don't want over someone we REALLY don't want; and I'm not. (Mostly because I REALLY don't want either of them. . . .)

But what if we're all overlooking something? What if we really don't need to choose between two evils in order to win? What if there IS someone out there who DOES have a chance of winning that we just don't know about because we're too lazy to look and see (and because the media isn't going to give them the time of day)? What if we can have a GOOD candidate AND a winning candidate?

My point is this - I don't need the best. If I'm convinced that the best can't beat the bad, but the good CAN? I'd say, "Let's all vote for the Good!" If Ron Paul IS the best (I'm not saying he is; just IF), but Gary Johnson has a better chance of winning and is good enough, I'll vote Libertarian.

I'm going to vote. I want to vote. I cannot vote for the two main candidates; my conscience would seriously smite me. But I'm not terribly politically savvy, and I really have no idea how to know who amongst the few good people we have has the best chance of winning. So if you have any ideas or insights, do share. And please, please - don't just throw in the towel and join the Romney camp because you like him better than Obama. We have two months yet. Please, let's make sure we're not missing something.

Legitimate Rape

I don't have cable. I have a couple of News headlines that I see on occasion, but overall, I really don't pay a terrible amount of attention to what the media is saying. So when things happen, it usually takes me a little while to catch up on what exactly is going on.

There's a big controversy in the works because some congressman answered a question about abortion and his opinion on whether or not it should be legal if a woman conceived from being raped. Here's the actual statement:  "First of all, from what I understand from doctors, that's really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down."

My first experience with the story was actually hearing/reading a bunch of negative comments about it and how he was so stupid to think that and how offensive and horrible saying the phrase "legitimate rape" is. It took me a while to realize that that's ALL the guy said. And then I sat there thinking, Seriously?

I don't like jumping to conclusions and I've found that it saves me a lot of trouble and embarrassment if I don't assume that I know what people mean. So when I read that one statement, I seriously have no idea what he means by "legitimate rape." I would personally lean toward thinking that he means that it's actual (no, that's not the dictionary definition of the word, but it is one of the way it gets used A LOT; authentic IS one of the definitions) rape as opposed to someone saying they got raped when they didn't.

His apology seems to give some credence to that take because once everyone threw up their arms in horror, he apologized for his poor choice of wording. Seems to me that he didn't mean legitimate in that it's lawful, accepted, or proper; seems to me that he meant legitimate, as in, authentic. This is English; there's a plethora of meanings for many words.

So, first, there was all of this offense taken, which I really didn't get.

Second, there was the bashing of his mental capacity which ticked me off just a bit. Let me be very clear before getting into this: I am NOT saying that it's impossible for women to get pregnant from rape. I understand that it happens. However, if you look at what he said, Congressman Akin wasn't saying that it's impossible either. He said, FROM HOW HE UNDERSTOOD IT (very important phrase), it's rare.

I don't claim to be very well-educated. I do alright in some areas, but I'm not a science or a math person. I'm NOT a biology person. Thus, I decided to do some research on the topic, but from a slightly different angle. I decided to look up what you do in the case of infertility. If you look up tips on how to get pregnant, there are a couple of interesting things that pop up quite often that directly impact this idea. The following were found from multiple sources on the topic of how to be more fertile.

One, be relaxed and keep things romantic; stressing out has a negative impact on both ovulation and conception. Two, the woman having an orgasm helps pull the sperm along thus giving a better chance of fertilization. Three, I read a very interesting article last night about how a woman's uterus needs to get used to her mate's specific sperm in order to provide a healthy environment for a baby. (This is why one-night stands that produce a child have a much higher chance of ending in a miscarriage.) This one doesn't apply to all rape, obviously, but it does apply to quite a few instances.

So rape victims actually do have less chance of getting pregnant? Honestly, it completely depends on which doctors/researchers you decide to trust. You can find arguments and articles - educated, researched, documented ones - on both sides. But it certainly isn't as DUMB an idea as a whole lot of people made it sound. The vast majority of fertility websites agree with Congressman Akin; no one is calling them whacked. When medical journals, doctors, and researchers are all saying it, I find it unreasonable to call the guy a quack because he took them at their word. After all, if you DON'T believe it, you're taking some OTHER doctor at his/her word.

In closing, there's that phrase that I put in all caps above. America is about as ungracious a country as I can imagine, and this, right here, is proof of that. When someone says, "how I understand it" - it's just kind of uncalled for to start slamming them for being ignorant, no matter what you think of how they understand something. Using that phrase, he was being upfront with the fact that HE DIDN'T KNOW. He wasn't making outlandish claims; he wasn't dogmatically making a statement of fact. He said, "From how I understand it." And he even referred to who he understood it from - doctors - obviously giving them the authority on the subject, not claiming to have any authority himself.

What bothers me most about the whole thing though, is that no one seems at all interested in his apology, as if he's sinned an unforgivable sin. It's a common joke that politicians and lawyers aren't really people, but seriously? Is that how we're going to treat them? Like they're sub-human or something? The man misspoke. He then apologized and took back his statement. What exactly do you want? It's one thing for the media to not move on - they get their money from that stuff. It's quite another for everyday people to have that same attitude. We don't get anything from hanging onto feelings of prejudice or superiority. Imagine if we responded that way to EVERYONE who misspoke.

Misunderstandings happen - quite frequently. If we cannot learn how to communicate through them without taking and giving offense, we will never be able to work together in any venue. The moment we dismiss someone as being an idiot is the moment we become unable to effectively communicate with them.

Quick Tip

Just a quick word of advice: If something looks frumpy on a model, don't bother.

Also, 6pm.com has some pretty cute things that are on sale right now. Maybe I should quit WoW and save up to buy some clothes and shoes. . . . It's tempting. Quite tempting, actually.