So church on Sunday was pretty awesome. My husband preached - which is a very interesting thing. I used to wonder what it was like to be the wife of the preacher and sitting there in church listening to him. But that's digression.
Church was pretty awesome because God gave me this little epiphany type of thing about the Trinity. The topic of the Trinity has been coming up with some regularity for a while now. At home, at church, at the Tuesday night Bible study. And there's been this disconnect with me about this one aspect. I don't really know if I could adequately explain it, but Sunday, Zack said it in a way that I finally understood. "Jesus has always been the revelation of the Father."
To say that Jesus is the revelation of the Father to me makes it sound like the Bible. But the Bible wasn't always there. It was revelation. It came AFTER something. But Jesus has always been the revelation of the Father. That's Who He is.
I know I don't understand that as much as I want to, but it was pretty awesome. And then Zack was talking about Heaven, and having just had this new bit of understanding opened for me, I suddenly got really excited about Forever. Because Forever is going to be one little bit of understanding after another, after another; and it's never going to stop!
Heaven is going to be forever seeing a new bit of an infinite God. It's like a never-ending Christmas. Think of all the nice things about Christmas. The songs - there will tons of singing in Heaven. The people - being with family and friends; in Heaven we'll have ALL the family that's gone on before along with billions of new siblings that we never knew before! The gifts - God has already lavished so much on us. Even if, IF, He didn't do anything new for us (which I find pretty much impossible to believe), since we'll be perfect then, we'll be able to appreciate everything He's done in the past with so much more clarity.
And you know how things are better when you have someone else to get excited about it with you? We're going to be surrounded with people who are just as thrilled and excited about God and who are going to be rejoicing with us perfectly! There won't be anyone around that you won't be able to start talking to about what God has done for you and what He taught you recently.
I was also thinking about how God made us all with different strengths and different forms of creativity. I think we tend to think of Heaven as being very limited in scope. We tend to think only of the more pious things here on Earth as being "worthy" of Heaven, so to speak. We'll sing praises and listen at His feet like Mary. I don't think that's all we'll do. I think we'll have places to go and be creative; I think I'll still write poems in Heaven. And King David will write more psalms. And Zack will play his violin. And my mother-in-law will have a garden. And someone will be training the dog and pony show.
Because part of absorbing good is having an outlet for it. We're not just sponges. We absorb and then we turn around and spin it out again in a way that means something specific to us. I think our creativity may be one of the things that most proves that we are made in the image of God. Whether we're painters or musicians or dancers or baseball players, we all have something that we are good at or that we REALLY enjoy. Can you imagine the football games we could have in Heaven? =D
And the greatest thing about it all that is it will ALL be GOOD - because it will ALL be for God. It will be what it's supposed to be here. It will all be from hearts overflowing with joy and praise and love and worship. And no matter what we do, whether we eat or drink or sleep, whether we sit or stand, whether we are silent or shouting with all the power in our body, it will finally ALL be to the glory of God!
IT'S SO EXCITING!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Ants
Last night I walked into my bathroom to discover that it was pretty well infested with ants. They were in my sink and my tub, on the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling. There was a nice line of them (the ants go marching one by one!) that led to this really hard-to-reach corner in my bathroom, which has always looked terrible with peeling paint and the wood trim around the edges coming loose.
I was about to leave for work, so I couldn't really take the time then to do much except spray down the corner where they seemed to be most congregated with window cleaner (which kills them quite quickly), and hope that they didn't recover and make it into the little hallway before I got home again.
Eventually - after squishing and spraying probably around a 100 little ants - I think I've beaten them again. Tonight will tell; they're always busier after dark.
But while I was battling the remnants of them this morning, something occurred to me. These ants, these little bugs that get on everything have never hurt me. I don't know if they could hurt me. Some ants can - fire ants and army ants and such. But these ones? They're just super annoying and gross.
And then I was thinking about how we might compare the difference between us and ants to the difference between God and us, and how one day, the world will rise up in open, willful, conscious defiance against God. They won't just be ignoring Him; they'll be on the offensive.
There was this kind of humorous thought that came to me while I was thinking about that - the ants really bother me. They gross me out, and if I happen to get one on me, it immediately has my full attention as I try to get it off as quickly as possible. But people aren't even the harmless ants. Their "offensive" isn't even going to have the power to ANNOY God. They can't get into His proverbial bathroom without Him allowing it. They can't MOVE without Him giving them strength and health. They can't LIVE without HIM. And they're going to go on the offensive??
Reminds me of that quote from Batman: the Dark Knight - "You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands; and your plan, is to BLACKMAIL this person?"
Really?? That's your plan?? You can't LIVE without God and yet somehow you find it a good idea to try to remove Him from the equation? Even from a purely selfish standpoint, that is the dumbest thing ever. Either way, it leaves you DEAD!
Sometimes it's just so funny how pitiful we are. It's like when I was super little and I would wrestle with my dad. My parents would laugh and smile and it was funny! Because I couldn't MOVE him at ALL. I remember exactly what it felt like - it was like running into a slightly cushioned boulder, like pushing on a mountain.
So that was my funny thought today. It can also be sad and sobering and a lot of other things; but today it hit me as funny.
I was about to leave for work, so I couldn't really take the time then to do much except spray down the corner where they seemed to be most congregated with window cleaner (which kills them quite quickly), and hope that they didn't recover and make it into the little hallway before I got home again.
Eventually - after squishing and spraying probably around a 100 little ants - I think I've beaten them again. Tonight will tell; they're always busier after dark.
But while I was battling the remnants of them this morning, something occurred to me. These ants, these little bugs that get on everything have never hurt me. I don't know if they could hurt me. Some ants can - fire ants and army ants and such. But these ones? They're just super annoying and gross.
And then I was thinking about how we might compare the difference between us and ants to the difference between God and us, and how one day, the world will rise up in open, willful, conscious defiance against God. They won't just be ignoring Him; they'll be on the offensive.
There was this kind of humorous thought that came to me while I was thinking about that - the ants really bother me. They gross me out, and if I happen to get one on me, it immediately has my full attention as I try to get it off as quickly as possible. But people aren't even the harmless ants. Their "offensive" isn't even going to have the power to ANNOY God. They can't get into His proverbial bathroom without Him allowing it. They can't MOVE without Him giving them strength and health. They can't LIVE without HIM. And they're going to go on the offensive??
Reminds me of that quote from Batman: the Dark Knight - "You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands; and your plan, is to BLACKMAIL this person?"
Really?? That's your plan?? You can't LIVE without God and yet somehow you find it a good idea to try to remove Him from the equation? Even from a purely selfish standpoint, that is the dumbest thing ever. Either way, it leaves you DEAD!
Sometimes it's just so funny how pitiful we are. It's like when I was super little and I would wrestle with my dad. My parents would laugh and smile and it was funny! Because I couldn't MOVE him at ALL. I remember exactly what it felt like - it was like running into a slightly cushioned boulder, like pushing on a mountain.
So that was my funny thought today. It can also be sad and sobering and a lot of other things; but today it hit me as funny.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Yesterday
Yesterday, I was sad. I was heartbroken; I was in mourning.
Why? Because we heard that our bank account was going to be spent on our car. That doesn't sound good, does it? It sounds like loving money; it sounds like loving stuff.
It wasn't. It wasn't the money; it was what the money represented. It represented going home for Christmas, being able to donate more than change to RMD4Em. They were good plans, but they were my plans, and God was showing me something - I was making plans without saying, "if God wills." They were MY plans. They were nice plans; they were good plans; but they didn't take God into account. There was no addendum of, "If God allows us, this is what we shall do."
It was hard to think of missing Christmas with my family. It's a funny thing; yesterday, in my head, I was comparing myself to Abraham. I was thinking, God is testing me. God is asking me to put His will first, to say, "I know You know best. If You say I cannot go home for Christmas, then somehow, despite my understanding, I know that it is better for me not to go." Now, I know I wasn't being asked to sacrifice my child; but giving up Christmas with my mama, getting to introduce my dad to my little girl, spending the holidays with my siblings, getting to play in the snow? Those things are very dear to me. VERY dear.
And somehow, even though I made the same connection of God testing me, God asking if He is most important, I didn't think that He was going to tell ME, "Stop; put not forth your hand." I was not expecting to "get off easy."
I cried a lot yesterday. I couldn't sing; I could hardly talk most of the day; I was exhausted, but I couldn't rest. There was a hymn that came to mind early yesterday, and it just kept coming back to me. "All the Way my Savior Leads Me." All the verses were so fitting.
"All the way my Savior leads me; what have I to ask beside? Can I doubt His tender mercy, Who through life has been my guide?" Such fitting questions! Did one day erase all that God had done for me?
"All the way my Savior leads me, cheers each winding path I tread, gives me grace for every trial, feeds me with the living bread. Though my weary steps may falter, and my soul athirst may be, gushing from the Rock before me, lo! a spring of joy I see." Jesus led me all the way. I was not alone; I was not without help, without grace. He hadn't left me to bear my burden without any hope, without any comfort.
"All the way my Savior leads me. O the fullness of His love! Perfect rest to me is promised, in my Father's house above." What was one year, compared to eternity with Him? One Christmas cannot compare with that!
He led us there; He led us out again.
This morning, we got a phone call. Our spark plug had been fused to whatever is under it. This morning, they got it separated. Between eight hundred and a thousand dollars LESS than what they'd told us yesterday. Today, God said, "Put not forth your hand." Today God spared my proverbial Isaac. Today, God turned my mourning into joy and laughter. Jesus led me all the way.
Oh, that men would praise the Lord for His goodness and His wonderful works to the children of men!
Why? Because we heard that our bank account was going to be spent on our car. That doesn't sound good, does it? It sounds like loving money; it sounds like loving stuff.
It wasn't. It wasn't the money; it was what the money represented. It represented going home for Christmas, being able to donate more than change to RMD4Em. They were good plans, but they were my plans, and God was showing me something - I was making plans without saying, "if God wills." They were MY plans. They were nice plans; they were good plans; but they didn't take God into account. There was no addendum of, "If God allows us, this is what we shall do."
It was hard to think of missing Christmas with my family. It's a funny thing; yesterday, in my head, I was comparing myself to Abraham. I was thinking, God is testing me. God is asking me to put His will first, to say, "I know You know best. If You say I cannot go home for Christmas, then somehow, despite my understanding, I know that it is better for me not to go." Now, I know I wasn't being asked to sacrifice my child; but giving up Christmas with my mama, getting to introduce my dad to my little girl, spending the holidays with my siblings, getting to play in the snow? Those things are very dear to me. VERY dear.
And somehow, even though I made the same connection of God testing me, God asking if He is most important, I didn't think that He was going to tell ME, "Stop; put not forth your hand." I was not expecting to "get off easy."
I cried a lot yesterday. I couldn't sing; I could hardly talk most of the day; I was exhausted, but I couldn't rest. There was a hymn that came to mind early yesterday, and it just kept coming back to me. "All the Way my Savior Leads Me." All the verses were so fitting.
"All the way my Savior leads me; what have I to ask beside? Can I doubt His tender mercy, Who through life has been my guide?" Such fitting questions! Did one day erase all that God had done for me?
"All the way my Savior leads me, cheers each winding path I tread, gives me grace for every trial, feeds me with the living bread. Though my weary steps may falter, and my soul athirst may be, gushing from the Rock before me, lo! a spring of joy I see." Jesus led me all the way. I was not alone; I was not without help, without grace. He hadn't left me to bear my burden without any hope, without any comfort.
"All the way my Savior leads me. O the fullness of His love! Perfect rest to me is promised, in my Father's house above." What was one year, compared to eternity with Him? One Christmas cannot compare with that!
He led us there; He led us out again.
This morning, we got a phone call. Our spark plug had been fused to whatever is under it. This morning, they got it separated. Between eight hundred and a thousand dollars LESS than what they'd told us yesterday. Today, God said, "Put not forth your hand." Today God spared my proverbial Isaac. Today, God turned my mourning into joy and laughter. Jesus led me all the way.
Oh, that men would praise the Lord for His goodness and His wonderful works to the children of men!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Nevertheless
I've been struggling with something lately. It waxes and wanes in difficulty. Tonight was very hard, but God is faithful and will not suffer us to be tempted above that we are able, but will, with the temptation also make a way of escape that we may be able to bear it.
I would love it if this one fear never came to be; and while I will keep praying for that, I know very well that God's will is better than mine. Though I cannot tell what His plan is yet, I know it's best. And, with His help, I come round again to saying, "Nevertheless, not my will but Thine be done."
My heart it cries; the tears run down
My face is filled with pain
Not outward things, but inward griefs
On me are heavy lain
To You I lift my voice and cry,
To You I turn for strength
To You, my God, the faithful One
Whose mercies have no length
For all of You cannot be measured
You are eternity
And so to You I bring my prayers
Look down on me and see
O Lord of hosts, Thou strong Deliverer
Be Thou my portion now
My hour is coming fast - draws near!
My terror will not bow
To me it gives not any heed
I cannot conquer it
Too many times it throws me down
And how much I wish to quit!
Too great for me is this my care!
Too much for me to hold
I know I do not have the strength
Underneath, I shrink and fold
Yet You are strong! Your arm is long!
And Your promises I own
That You'll be with me the entire way
I will never be alone.
You tell me here to cast my cares,
To lay them all on You.
I do not know if I can throw,
But help me this to do:
To put them down, to leave behind
To let them go for good.
To trust Your love; to love You more
To know when I can't, You could
And though I pray You'd save me now
And give me full relief
Yet more I pray and ask of You
"Lord, help mine unbelief!"
Make me trust You in Your grace
Make me love Your will
Make me able to truly say
"In this, I follow still."
For not my will but Thine be done!
It is my greatest prayer
And if Thy will be pain and grief
Then help me them to bear
And on You, and in Your arms
At last to rest secure
For You alone are good and kind
You are the only cure.
And here I find as I have before
There is peace with You.
You answer again; You leave me not
What You've said, you always do.
I would love it if this one fear never came to be; and while I will keep praying for that, I know very well that God's will is better than mine. Though I cannot tell what His plan is yet, I know it's best. And, with His help, I come round again to saying, "Nevertheless, not my will but Thine be done."
My heart it cries; the tears run down
My face is filled with pain
Not outward things, but inward griefs
On me are heavy lain
To You I lift my voice and cry,
To You I turn for strength
To You, my God, the faithful One
Whose mercies have no length
For all of You cannot be measured
You are eternity
And so to You I bring my prayers
Look down on me and see
O Lord of hosts, Thou strong Deliverer
Be Thou my portion now
My hour is coming fast - draws near!
My terror will not bow
To me it gives not any heed
I cannot conquer it
Too many times it throws me down
And how much I wish to quit!
Too great for me is this my care!
Too much for me to hold
I know I do not have the strength
Underneath, I shrink and fold
Yet You are strong! Your arm is long!
And Your promises I own
That You'll be with me the entire way
I will never be alone.
You tell me here to cast my cares,
To lay them all on You.
I do not know if I can throw,
But help me this to do:
To put them down, to leave behind
To let them go for good.
To trust Your love; to love You more
To know when I can't, You could
And though I pray You'd save me now
And give me full relief
Yet more I pray and ask of You
"Lord, help mine unbelief!"
Make me trust You in Your grace
Make me love Your will
Make me able to truly say
"In this, I follow still."
For not my will but Thine be done!
It is my greatest prayer
And if Thy will be pain and grief
Then help me them to bear
And on You, and in Your arms
At last to rest secure
For You alone are good and kind
You are the only cure.
And here I find as I have before
There is peace with You.
You answer again; You leave me not
What You've said, you always do.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Not Romney, Not Obama - then Who?
Every time I hear something from Romney or about Romney, I get more and more sure that I cannot vote for the man. Others feel differently - I get that. You want someone who can win. You want someone with a chance. And you would take Sauron over Obama. (I've been rereading LotR.)
I really do get it. However. . . Is Romney the ONLY person with a CHANCE?
Believe it or not, I'm not actually talking about Ron Paul or anyone in particular. I'm talking about someone that maybe you and I haven't heard of - but others have!
I'm not sure how I got there, but I found the Libertarian candidate - Gary Johnson. I haven't done much research on the guy (yet), but I was wondering how many people I know have done any looking outside of the two main candidates At All. I'm pretty sure most of my conservative friends and family are in the same boat as me about two things - we don't want Obama; we don't want Romney. Maybe we wanted Santorum or Paul or even Bachmann before, but we didn't want Romney and we didn't want Obama.
The only difference is that some of them are willing to go with someone we don't want over someone we REALLY don't want; and I'm not. (Mostly because I REALLY don't want either of them. . . .)
But what if we're all overlooking something? What if we really don't need to choose between two evils in order to win? What if there IS someone out there who DOES have a chance of winning that we just don't know about because we're too lazy to look and see (and because the media isn't going to give them the time of day)? What if we can have a GOOD candidate AND a winning candidate?
My point is this - I don't need the best. If I'm convinced that the best can't beat the bad, but the good CAN? I'd say, "Let's all vote for the Good!" If Ron Paul IS the best (I'm not saying he is; just IF), but Gary Johnson has a better chance of winning and is good enough, I'll vote Libertarian.
I'm going to vote. I want to vote. I cannot vote for the two main candidates; my conscience would seriously smite me. But I'm not terribly politically savvy, and I really have no idea how to know who amongst the few good people we have has the best chance of winning. So if you have any ideas or insights, do share. And please, please - don't just throw in the towel and join the Romney camp because you like him better than Obama. We have two months yet. Please, let's make sure we're not missing something.
I really do get it. However. . . Is Romney the ONLY person with a CHANCE?
Believe it or not, I'm not actually talking about Ron Paul or anyone in particular. I'm talking about someone that maybe you and I haven't heard of - but others have!
I'm not sure how I got there, but I found the Libertarian candidate - Gary Johnson. I haven't done much research on the guy (yet), but I was wondering how many people I know have done any looking outside of the two main candidates At All. I'm pretty sure most of my conservative friends and family are in the same boat as me about two things - we don't want Obama; we don't want Romney. Maybe we wanted Santorum or Paul or even Bachmann before, but we didn't want Romney and we didn't want Obama.
The only difference is that some of them are willing to go with someone we don't want over someone we REALLY don't want; and I'm not. (Mostly because I REALLY don't want either of them. . . .)
But what if we're all overlooking something? What if we really don't need to choose between two evils in order to win? What if there IS someone out there who DOES have a chance of winning that we just don't know about because we're too lazy to look and see (and because the media isn't going to give them the time of day)? What if we can have a GOOD candidate AND a winning candidate?
My point is this - I don't need the best. If I'm convinced that the best can't beat the bad, but the good CAN? I'd say, "Let's all vote for the Good!" If Ron Paul IS the best (I'm not saying he is; just IF), but Gary Johnson has a better chance of winning and is good enough, I'll vote Libertarian.
I'm going to vote. I want to vote. I cannot vote for the two main candidates; my conscience would seriously smite me. But I'm not terribly politically savvy, and I really have no idea how to know who amongst the few good people we have has the best chance of winning. So if you have any ideas or insights, do share. And please, please - don't just throw in the towel and join the Romney camp because you like him better than Obama. We have two months yet. Please, let's make sure we're not missing something.
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