Another poem

There must be something about Sundays. I guess they get me thinking. This started yesterday, not in writing, but in my head. Zack pointed out some things to me and it kind of began a snowball effect. I have a feeling it's not done yet, but the poem is. I don't think it's flowy/polished as the previous one.

My Failure and Prayer

I have failed once again
I turned my back on God and then
I looked and saw myself and grinned
I looked in pride and how I sinned!
My arms were raised, my head held high
To God I would not call or cry
No help from others did I seek
I found no reason to be meek
In pride and arrogance I thought
I needed nothing others taught.
Oh, look at this, what I became!
Look what I've done to His dear name!

I stopped my mind and closed my ears
To all the things I'd learned for years.
In foolishness, I thought I stood
My eyes were covered like a hood
By sin, my own, my wicked works
The darkness that within me lurks
I stole, I lied, I put self first
And I completely lost my thirst
I didn't want the precious food
I grew conceited, mean, and rude
I lost the joy of serving Him
As I rebelled, my eyes went dim.
I thought I prayed, but now it's clear
To heav'n my words I did not steer.
I prayed to self! I spoke and praised
In wicked blindness, I was crazed.
Could not see the way I went
Couldn't hear what God's Word meant.
Did I lie, or was I blind?
Did I know within my mind?
Of what I did, was I aware?
I never took the time to care.
I didn't think; I didn't stop
Put forth my hand and took the sop.
Oh wretched heart! I've been deceived!
And all my fault; for I'd received
The word that told me not to trust
Myself, my heart, my sinful lust.

I don't remember choosing it;
Somehow I woke inside the pit.
Looking back now I can see
The way my focus was on me
Not for the glory of my God.
So I fell 'neath His chast'ning rod.
Oh, Father God, don't let it stay!
Please don't let me live this way!
Change me as You only can
Remove from me the former man
Shape me into something new
Make me to reflect but You
Not a part of self to show
The sin root out, make me like snow.
Use those you have placed around
Help me now adore the sound
Of their voices, dear and kind
As they guide me toward Your mind
Please, my Father, Abba, please!
Hear me praying on my knees
Take pity on Your child, her need
Back to Your side, please safely lead.
Let me ne'er forget the hole
That fills me when sin takes its toll.
I pray, my God, my Lord, my King
Return to me the joy to sing
Fill me once again with You
A contrite heart in me, renew.
And hold me closely to Your heart
Please never let me move apart.

What Would You Be?

This topic has been in my head for a while now, due to some situations in life, but it decided to take verse this morning during Sunday School. I scrawled a few lines down so I wouldn't lose them and then came home and finished it after lunch. I couldn't decide which name to use, so that's why the title of the poem and the title of the blog differ.

What I Would Be

Can you see what I would be,
If God had no mercy on me?
Can you hear the words I'd say
If He'd not come to me that day?
See the look and hear the tone
Watch the deeds done when alone
In the dark - even in light!
Too proud and base to hide til night.
So lifted up in my own view
The things I'd do would change the hue
Of the purest flower of white
To deepest blush of red in sight
I can see it in my mind
As if it happened years behind
Oh great depravity of man!
How to my sins I clung and ran
As far from God as I could be
Ev'n to drown in the deepest sea.
And once in Hell, my bed all made
I'd look afar and see them laid
The bride of Christ bowed at His feet
And Him upon the highest seat
Down far below as anguish tore
I'd watch as His white robes they wore
The robes of Christ, His righteousness
And I would burn righteous-less
For all the deeds I'd done in life -
Steal and lie and stir up strife
Hate and kill, no love within
Except for self and my dear sin
All my guilt would stay on me
For ever and eternity
There in the dark and endless doom
There in the fire and heavy gloom
Oh I can see what awaited me!
For I know what I would be
If not for the grace of God
I'd die forever under the rod
Of punishment, my just reward
For not accepting Christ my Lord
For rebellion, I would pay
On that terrible judgment day
But in His mercy, Jesus came
And I have never been the same
His love has changed me thru and thru
By His grace, I'm made anew
Do you know what you would be?
That crumbling path, can you see?
The one you walked before He came?
The one you'd crawled when you were lame,
And sick, infirmed, and deeply blind
Before Christ was ever in your mind?
Do you know where you would rest?
Still on earth, or in fire's crest?
Would you have died long ago?
If not for God's protecting you so?
I think at times we lose this sight
We think we would have been alright
We forget the change He's worked within
We forget the bondage we'd had to sin
And then because we're thinking wrong
We have no joy and inner song
We speak to those who's lives are torn
And without love we speak in scorn
Forgetting that we'd be alike!
If Christ had not accepted the spike
If He'd not taken me from that path
I, too, would be inciting His wrath
And so would you, my Christian friend
We would have met that same dark end
We would have lived and died accursed
Don't think the lost are the worst.
Who can tell if I'd not have been
Hitler or Stalin, murderous men
And what of you, do you know
The depths of sin that you can sow?
What new twisted way you may have gone?
God's prophet assunder you might have sawn.
So think it through and when you're done
I hope you'll see and to Christ you'll run
Reminded that you couldn't be good
Without God's help, burn you would.
And to the lost, who can't abstain
From sinning, imbuing their lives with pain
Take pity, be kind, share God's gift
Perhaps He'll decide them to lift
Up to Heav'n, adopting them
And together, we'll bow at His hem.
Children of God, every one
Bound together by the death of His Son.