Another poem

There must be something about Sundays. I guess they get me thinking. This started yesterday, not in writing, but in my head. Zack pointed out some things to me and it kind of began a snowball effect. I have a feeling it's not done yet, but the poem is. I don't think it's flowy/polished as the previous one.

My Failure and Prayer

I have failed once again
I turned my back on God and then
I looked and saw myself and grinned
I looked in pride and how I sinned!
My arms were raised, my head held high
To God I would not call or cry
No help from others did I seek
I found no reason to be meek
In pride and arrogance I thought
I needed nothing others taught.
Oh, look at this, what I became!
Look what I've done to His dear name!

I stopped my mind and closed my ears
To all the things I'd learned for years.
In foolishness, I thought I stood
My eyes were covered like a hood
By sin, my own, my wicked works
The darkness that within me lurks
I stole, I lied, I put self first
And I completely lost my thirst
I didn't want the precious food
I grew conceited, mean, and rude
I lost the joy of serving Him
As I rebelled, my eyes went dim.
I thought I prayed, but now it's clear
To heav'n my words I did not steer.
I prayed to self! I spoke and praised
In wicked blindness, I was crazed.
Could not see the way I went
Couldn't hear what God's Word meant.
Did I lie, or was I blind?
Did I know within my mind?
Of what I did, was I aware?
I never took the time to care.
I didn't think; I didn't stop
Put forth my hand and took the sop.
Oh wretched heart! I've been deceived!
And all my fault; for I'd received
The word that told me not to trust
Myself, my heart, my sinful lust.

I don't remember choosing it;
Somehow I woke inside the pit.
Looking back now I can see
The way my focus was on me
Not for the glory of my God.
So I fell 'neath His chast'ning rod.
Oh, Father God, don't let it stay!
Please don't let me live this way!
Change me as You only can
Remove from me the former man
Shape me into something new
Make me to reflect but You
Not a part of self to show
The sin root out, make me like snow.
Use those you have placed around
Help me now adore the sound
Of their voices, dear and kind
As they guide me toward Your mind
Please, my Father, Abba, please!
Hear me praying on my knees
Take pity on Your child, her need
Back to Your side, please safely lead.
Let me ne'er forget the hole
That fills me when sin takes its toll.
I pray, my God, my Lord, my King
Return to me the joy to sing
Fill me once again with You
A contrite heart in me, renew.
And hold me closely to Your heart
Please never let me move apart.