Legitimate Rape

I don't have cable. I have a couple of News headlines that I see on occasion, but overall, I really don't pay a terrible amount of attention to what the media is saying. So when things happen, it usually takes me a little while to catch up on what exactly is going on.

There's a big controversy in the works because some congressman answered a question about abortion and his opinion on whether or not it should be legal if a woman conceived from being raped. Here's the actual statement:  "First of all, from what I understand from doctors, that's really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down."

My first experience with the story was actually hearing/reading a bunch of negative comments about it and how he was so stupid to think that and how offensive and horrible saying the phrase "legitimate rape" is. It took me a while to realize that that's ALL the guy said. And then I sat there thinking, Seriously?

I don't like jumping to conclusions and I've found that it saves me a lot of trouble and embarrassment if I don't assume that I know what people mean. So when I read that one statement, I seriously have no idea what he means by "legitimate rape." I would personally lean toward thinking that he means that it's actual (no, that's not the dictionary definition of the word, but it is one of the way it gets used A LOT; authentic IS one of the definitions) rape as opposed to someone saying they got raped when they didn't.

His apology seems to give some credence to that take because once everyone threw up their arms in horror, he apologized for his poor choice of wording. Seems to me that he didn't mean legitimate in that it's lawful, accepted, or proper; seems to me that he meant legitimate, as in, authentic. This is English; there's a plethora of meanings for many words.

So, first, there was all of this offense taken, which I really didn't get.

Second, there was the bashing of his mental capacity which ticked me off just a bit. Let me be very clear before getting into this: I am NOT saying that it's impossible for women to get pregnant from rape. I understand that it happens. However, if you look at what he said, Congressman Akin wasn't saying that it's impossible either. He said, FROM HOW HE UNDERSTOOD IT (very important phrase), it's rare.

I don't claim to be very well-educated. I do alright in some areas, but I'm not a science or a math person. I'm NOT a biology person. Thus, I decided to do some research on the topic, but from a slightly different angle. I decided to look up what you do in the case of infertility. If you look up tips on how to get pregnant, there are a couple of interesting things that pop up quite often that directly impact this idea. The following were found from multiple sources on the topic of how to be more fertile.

One, be relaxed and keep things romantic; stressing out has a negative impact on both ovulation and conception. Two, the woman having an orgasm helps pull the sperm along thus giving a better chance of fertilization. Three, I read a very interesting article last night about how a woman's uterus needs to get used to her mate's specific sperm in order to provide a healthy environment for a baby. (This is why one-night stands that produce a child have a much higher chance of ending in a miscarriage.) This one doesn't apply to all rape, obviously, but it does apply to quite a few instances.

So rape victims actually do have less chance of getting pregnant? Honestly, it completely depends on which doctors/researchers you decide to trust. You can find arguments and articles - educated, researched, documented ones - on both sides. But it certainly isn't as DUMB an idea as a whole lot of people made it sound. The vast majority of fertility websites agree with Congressman Akin; no one is calling them whacked. When medical journals, doctors, and researchers are all saying it, I find it unreasonable to call the guy a quack because he took them at their word. After all, if you DON'T believe it, you're taking some OTHER doctor at his/her word.

In closing, there's that phrase that I put in all caps above. America is about as ungracious a country as I can imagine, and this, right here, is proof of that. When someone says, "how I understand it" - it's just kind of uncalled for to start slamming them for being ignorant, no matter what you think of how they understand something. Using that phrase, he was being upfront with the fact that HE DIDN'T KNOW. He wasn't making outlandish claims; he wasn't dogmatically making a statement of fact. He said, "From how I understand it." And he even referred to who he understood it from - doctors - obviously giving them the authority on the subject, not claiming to have any authority himself.

What bothers me most about the whole thing though, is that no one seems at all interested in his apology, as if he's sinned an unforgivable sin. It's a common joke that politicians and lawyers aren't really people, but seriously? Is that how we're going to treat them? Like they're sub-human or something? The man misspoke. He then apologized and took back his statement. What exactly do you want? It's one thing for the media to not move on - they get their money from that stuff. It's quite another for everyday people to have that same attitude. We don't get anything from hanging onto feelings of prejudice or superiority. Imagine if we responded that way to EVERYONE who misspoke.

Misunderstandings happen - quite frequently. If we cannot learn how to communicate through them without taking and giving offense, we will never be able to work together in any venue. The moment we dismiss someone as being an idiot is the moment we become unable to effectively communicate with them.