Valentine's Day

Maybe it's because my parents never made a big deal about it. Maybe it's because I really am contrary like they always told me, so I don't like having my emotions scheduled by someone else. Maybe I'm just a cynic - I have been told that I'm pessimistic. I'm not sure what it is, but Valentine's Day is just not that great. Nor that bad.

I don't remember it being a big deal when I was single. Some people, usually single people, make it out like it's there to purposefully rub in their face that they're alone. I remember a time period of probably a few years where I held that view, but I think it was more of a jumping on the bandwagon thing. Mostly, it's been just another day to me.

Funny thing: now that I have someone, it's still just another day. Haha. It's not great without someone; it's not really that awesome (by itself) with someone. It's just a day. Tomorrow will probably be a better day 'cause Zack doesn't have to work tomorrow.

I'd so much rather have flowers because my husband was thinking about me than because he was thinking about it being Valentine's Day. Don't get me wrong, I'll take flowers for pretty much any reason, and I'll enjoy them and take care of them and smell them practically fourteen times a day. But they're just more special if it's just "because." Occasions are nice. But they're practiced. This is what we do on birthdays - dinner, cake, presents. Birthdays are fun; dinner is delicious; cake is amazing; presents are often clothes. . . .

But spontaneous is beautiful. Spontaneous is memorable. Spontaneous is when your mom brings you home a CD from Goodwill because she thought you would like it, and doesn't save it for an occasion, just gives it to you then and there. It's special because there's no "reason" for it, except that they love you.

Continuing with that example, I had a CD collection in my car; I lived in a little town and left my doors unlocked and consequently, my CDs were stolen. It was worth about $150, if I remember right. You know the CD that I was saddest about? The one from Goodwill that was probably $1.99 that my mom got me just because. 'Cause that wasn't something I asked for; it was just something she did. (I have the greatest Mama, by the way.)

To sum up: Practiced is good and reliable and fun. Spontaneous is beautiful and more memorable. Personally, I'm happy with the reliable things that I have. I don't really need to add Valentine's Day to it. I'd really rather that Zack save the money and buy me something in the middle of July when there's absolutely nothing going on. Hehe.

Just to be clear, none of the specialness of spontaneous actions of love negate the joy of the reliable things. I just think that a good mixture is best, and often, because the reliable things are the practiced things, the spontaneous are the ones that get left out. It's much more rare that people don't celebrate birthdays when they ARE randomly doing nice things for each other.