No One Told Me

I've been thinking about being a Mom a lot, about the things of which my life is composed, about the things I miss, and the feeling that I will never again have a minute or a day that doesn't have a schedule. (I like schedules. I really don't like being tied to one ALL THE TIME.)

And something keeps popping into my head. It goes something like this, "People told me about the pain of childbirth. People told me about the troubles of sleeping when you have a newborn. Why didn't anyone tell me that it doesn't get better?" No one told me about how absolutely, ridiculously difficult it is to have a kid. (Just the one! And as I understand it, she's fairly easy. (Yes, I really want a boy, but wow does it scare me.))

No one told me that every day becomes a battle and for those of us prone to depression, it's very easy to not have any fun at all and you realize it's been a week since you've genuinely felt happy for more than the ten seconds after someone told a joke. No one told me that I wouldn't want to sing anymore, that my basic disposition would change from being happy and energetic to being sad or blah. There are a lot of things that no one ever mentioned, not even in a generalized way.

Well, something occurred to me today. Maybe they didn't tell me because that's not the part that they care about anymore, not the part that lasts. Maybe that part gets overshadowed by the good stuff, by the joys of watching the little ones grow up and being a part of their lives. Maybe, in the end, it fades, just like the pain of childbirth and the exhaustion of sleep deprivation.

And that is a hopeful thought.