Life with God is Exciting

It really is. We've been going through Esther in our Ladies' Bible Study recently and it's been very cool. Normally, I'm not a big fan of Esther. I like how well it shows that God is in control, but I don't really identify with any of the characters and I don't like the lack of mention of any people who are definitely "the good guy."

Now, as a rabbit trail, let me say, I hope that Esther and Mordecai were true Jews and spiritual children of Abraham as well as physical ones; but I don't see any definite evidence of that, as everyone who's paid attention knows there is no mention of God, prayer, or anything else that would lead to that.

Back to my point though, life with God is seeing growing bills and shrinking paychecks and waiting with wonder at how God is going to save us. What Esther (no matter what her spiritual beliefs were) is He putting up to deliver His people? What or who is He going to use next to get us through another week, another month, the next year?

And that's exciting. It's like a beautiful, lazy summer evening spent with family and friends, sitting out on the lawn looking up at the sky waiting for the fireworks to start. Or sitting at the airport waiting for the plane to land so you can see your beloved again.

There is the other side to it though, the harder side. What am I trying to hold onto? What worry do I have that nags me? What thing am I wondering, "What do I do, what do I do" about?

I've had a few of those recently, and it's really hard to really give things over to God and say, "I don't want to keep trying to grab it. I can't hold it up; I can't fix it; I don't even know how to try to fix it. But I don't want to make it worse by hanging on. I don't want to make it worse by worrying and filling myself with anxiety until I finally do something stupid out of desperation." It's an interesting thing - giving it up is a lighter weight than carrying it around; but it's a harder thing to do sometimes.

Anyway. Life is exciting. It's rough and it hurts and it's long; but God is gentle. He binds up the broken-hearted and He gives rest to the weary. And it's exciting to see how He works.