I Know You By Name

There are quite a few verses in the Bible that refer to God knowing us or calling us by name. The most common explanation of what exactly that means for us is that God knows us intimately. We're not some person that He passes everyday on the street - He knows us. He knows our name and our position; He knows our personality, who we are.

Having recently found out that we are having a girl, we also now know her name. And it gave me a slightly different perspective on that phrase. I loved my baby when it was only "my baby" - before she was "my girl." I wanted the best for my baby. I considered and decided (hopefully even through the pain of labor) not to have an epidural because that would put my comfort before what I believe is the best for my child.

There were things that, when I looked ahead to the future, I had to brace myself against. Things that I would endure for the sake of the child, but ONLY endure because I had to, because there wasn't another way. Visits to the Dr., childbirth, nursing, the hormonal upset of the "Baby blues," myriads of dirty diapers, spit-up and not being able to stay clean through a single day - I was determined to trudge along through it by will-power and grit because there was no other option.

It's a different thing now. I know who it is that I'm doing this for. It's not just "the baby." It's not just even "my baby." It's my girl, and I know her name. It's not a chore now. It's an adventure, an act of love. Childbirth is going to be painful and hard and exhausting and I'm probably going to have a hard time remembering this feeling, but if I can, it'll be better and easier because it's not just something to get through.

All those things that I was dreading - they were because of "the baby." It wasn't a blame thing; it was a fact. If I hadn't been pregnant, I wouldn't need to go through any of that. It was because of the baby. It's not BECAUSE of her now; it's FOR her.

Christ died because of us; but that's not how God writes it. God says, Christ died FOR us. He knows our names.

And it was ridiculously hard to write this without sharing what her name is! Haha. I wonder if God has that feeling about the new names we're going to get in Heaven. I wonder if He feels anticipation at wanting to tell them to us. Hm. God feeling excited about something - not an idea I've pondered much. Another time perhaps. :)

Oh Politics. . . .

You know those verses in Proverbs that say one after the other "Answer a fool according to his folly" and then "Answer not a fool according to his folly?" I seem to run into many situations online where I'm left wondering, Is this the time to answer or to just let it go?

Internet trolls are one thing and the advice, "Don't feed the troll" is, in my opinion, usually sound. It makes sense. Like when your older brothers tease you in order to make you mad - if you don't get mad, they either step it up (and hopefully get scolded) or they give up and you win. =)

But then there are those people who aren't just trying to be foolish, or trying to get to you - they're actually fools who say really dumb things. And since it's the internet and you're seeing this on your friend's friend's status, it's hard to tell if they're actually being a fool, or being a troll.

Today, I happened to look at Congressman Amash's voting report, which he has faithfully given us since taking office. If for no other reason than that he hasn't given up on that part of things, I admire the guy. But that's beside the point. He voted "yes" on a bill that was supposed to cut some military spending, something about developing more nukes, it sounded like. And someone made a comment, "So leave us defenseless korea and china and iran would love that."

Is that guy serious?? When you have enough firepower to blow up half the world, do you really need enough to blow up the ENTIRE world in order to feel secure? Honestly???? It's not like Star Wars where you can blow up a planet, and yeah, it's sad, but it really doesn't impact a whole lot. If ONE major nation were wiped out, that would have an ENORMOUS impact on how our world runs. Think about it. When Greece was having (is having? Been a while since I've heard about them. . . ) all that financial trouble, there was talk that it could take down the entire European economy. Greece. How often do we in America hear about Greece, think about Greece, care about what's going on in Greece? But we would certainly care if Greece went down and that took France and Spain and Britain and Germany with it.

Also, what good will it do us to spend all our money on producing weapons if then China calls up our debt and, oh oops! Now we can't pay the guys who know how to shoot the weapons and drop the bombs. Yeah. . . . It's like people think the "military" is a robot - not a bunch of people who need to, you know, eat and sleep and pay the electric bill otherwise their alarm won't go off and, oh boy, now there's no one to shoot down that incoming missile. It's as if all the movies about the machines taking over have made people actually believe that's how it goes. From Terminator to Iron Man 2, we don't have to risk human lives because the machines can do it - that's not how things actually work. Somewhere, there's a Person pulling a trigger or pushing a button - and that person is what's keeping us safe. Not the threat of us making more nukes.
 

Anyway. . . .I was thinking about responding, but I couldn't decide if he was the fool you talk to or the fool you ignore - so I figured I'd leave it be. Chances are someone else will respond anyway. With politics, they almost always do.

My Girl

We're having a girl! =D I was pretty sure, but it's so cool to know. Poem-inspiring stuff. :) It may very well expand over the next few days. It's kind of coming in pieces.

There's a little one growing right now as I write

A little one stirring around

Ten fingers and toes; she's a beautiful sight

But from her you'll not hear a sound

She's not ready to come, not ready to play

She's barely started to grow

Less than a pound, we heard just today

But someday she'll gnaw on her toe

My little girl, little babe, little precious one

What an amazing gift you are

I love you already, my cute little bun,

Little Biscuit, my twinkling star

I saw your face, your eyes, your cute little nose

Saw your bones and maybe a sneeze

We got lots of pictures of you in your pose

You're cuter than the bee's knees!

We've not quite met, but I know just the same

That you are a gift from my Lord

No matter how you turn out or shift the blame

You cannot sever this cord.

Because you are my girl, you belong to me.

You'll always be mine in a way

Though you may marry and move over the sea

You'll always have a place here to stay.

But while you are ours, and we love you so much

In God's hands you rest

I cannot keep you, protect you or such

To trust Him is your test

So each day I'll bow my head and pray

I'll ask the Lord for you

To quicken your heart so that you can say

You love Him deep and true.

Church Trumps Nation

I hear a lot about how the nation is going down the drain and how it's falling apart and all this stuff. . . . And I believe it. I know that the US, on a whole, is degenerate, that we need godly men to step up and lead; that we're raising generations of couch-potatoes and mental midgets, that we need God's mercy if we're to continue.

But I think when we focus on that, our priorities are way off.

It's not that the nation is not worthy of our prayers, or that we shouldn't be seeking it's good - I believe we should. Just that it should not ever be coming FIRST in our hearts and minds. The US is not God's chosen people - the Church is. And the Church, on a whole, seems to be floundering to a terrible degree in certain areas.

I grew up in conservative Christendom. We sang hymns and wore long skirts or dresses to church. We didn't have an orchestra or especially a set of drums. And you know? That's all fine. My heart is not more prone to worship because I now go to a church that has drums and where there are multiple people up front with microphones, singing harmonies. The music is not sweeter; the form does not make it better (or worse).

My heart is heavy because I've been on both sides and I see where they can both learn from the other. Conservatives need to learn to stick to the Bible and stop making rules that aren't there; they need to learn when tradition is ONLY tradition and when it's actually based on the Bible. They need to understand that as so many worship songs seem repetitive and fluffy, there are quite a lot of hymns that are fluffy, too, and not all repetition is bad. (Psalm 136, anyone??) It's not old hymns or modern worship songs that are well-done or poorly written - it's just individual songs.

Liberals need to learn that there is SO much that they are tossing away under the guise of liberty. They need to learn that dressing up for church doesn't make you "holier than thou," that it's simply a national norm to dress up for something that important to you, to want to look nice when you're meeting someone you care about. Why isn't church worth getting up fifteen minutes earlier to ensure that you make it on time? Why isn't church important enough to you to wear nice clothes and make sure you get a good night's sleep on Saturday? They need to understand that weighty lyrics are not a burden, but a blessing. That getting to go to Church and hear two good messages in the same day is an extreme privilege, not tedious or an annoyance.

There is SO MUCH that each side has. Why, oh why, are we focusing on this silly, fading, temporary nation when the CHURCH, the Bride of Christ, is so divided and is MISSING so much? When one side is growing stagnant and the other side is giving up their heritage, like Esau selling his birthright?

If conservatives will not loose their grip on tradition in favor of the Bible, liberals will never give them an ear. If liberals don't learn to look beyond the attitude of license to the purpose behind it, conservatives will never believe they CAN hear.

Being Careful

I saw something on Facebook this morning that turned my stomach. It's not something new; I've seen things like it many, many times. Yet, it still makes me angry and upset and sad.

It's when Christians are given a platform, given a podium, given a place of authority, and they go and say something really dumb. My first reaction is usually just, "Ugh. . . ." I shake my head and want to crawl into a closet where Christians don't say and do stupid things and hurt the name of Christ and the message of the Gospel with flippant words.

As much as I want to curl up and hide though, I also want to rush out shouting, "We're not ALL like that! We don't ALL think that way! Don't think that he/she is the representative for all of Christendom!"

Then, I usually get angry and start ranting against whoever did or said the thing. And that's where the biggest problem lies, because that's fueled usually first and foremost by pride. I certainly would never have said something so dumb, something so easy to take out of context, something so easily misunderstood, something that - even if you didn't mean it that way - SOUNDED so awful. I'M smarter than that. I know better. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

In all that thinking, I'm setting myself up for the same kind of fall, the same oversight. In thinking that I will never do something like that, I'm ensuring that I will not be careful of it (I've no reason to be!), and therefore, I will almost undoubtedly do it.

After all that there's the question of do I get involved in this? If you're going to, how do you go about it? You certainly can't argue that he/she did nothing wrong; they messed up - usually they admit that they messed up and have apologized for it by the time I hear about it. So what then? The world isn't going to forgive it; the world is going to hold it up and every time, it's going to return to bite you in the face over and over and over. You are going to be the guy/gal that "said such and such stupid thing" - at least for a while.

It's different (or should be) with family. By family, I'm referring to Christians. Family, they know where you're coming from. They usually know you well enough to know what you MEAN, even if you say it wrong. They don't require you to be ridiculously precise with your words. They're gracious, understanding. They know we all make mistakes; we all say things that come out the wrong way; we all say things that we haven't thought through or that we don't really mean. There's more grace, more breathing room.

Strangers (the world) KNOWS a lot of that, too, but they don't really care. They don't like us, and they're looking for those slip-ups, waiting for them. They like them in everybody; but they like them PARTICULARLY in people who hold themselves to a higher standard. They pounce on every opportunity with those people to say, AHA! Gotcha this time! I caught you breaking your rules! The Psalmist talks about those people - the ones who say, "Aha! Aha!" The prophets also talk about those people and how God will judge them for being pleased when His people stumble, and I believe that if God will judge the people who said, "Aha!" about Israel and Judah falling, that He will judge the people who do the same when Christians stumble.

What's the point of all this? Well, for one, we need to be careful. It could be you and me next time. Two, the bigger the platform we have, the more seriously we need to take it. The more people we influence, the bigger the issue is going to be if/when we mess up. Three, we can't be those people who laugh at the mistakes and mock those who made them. We all make mistakes. If the person doesn't see it, kindly point it out. If they apologize, forgive them. Isn't that what you would want if it were you? It's what I want. If you hear a Christian swear, don't be happy that they slipped. And don't mock them either. Four, be cautious lest you jump to conclusions about what people mean, even if it is what they said. Oftentimes when things like this happen, people are talking to their family, their close-knit group who understand them; and so they talk more freely, less carefully. Yes, we should all be careful; but we shouldn't be so judgmental that we cannot look past words to see the meaning behind them.

Train first; Send second

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." - Proverbs 22:6

"Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners." - I Corinthians 15:33

When I was at college, I got into a debate once with one of my fellow students about sending kids (specifically very young children) to public school. I was arguing that it's not good for them; he was saying it's a tool for evangelism.

"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." - Proverbs 22:15

Children need to be trained first; they need to be taught and schooled and educated before they can teach someone else. They need to have foolishness driven out of them. How many kids are even saved before they go to kindergarten or first grade?

Train them from a child in the right way, and when they are OLD then they can be trusted to remain in it. But only if they're trained as a child. If they only get half the training, they're only going to stay half in the way (if that much). If you quit training your kids when they become teenagers, they're not going to stay in the way. You might have to change HOW you go about it, but teenagers are not old. They still need training, teaching, direction.

If you send your kids out into the world when they are too young to discern between the unclean and the clean, they are going to spend a lot of time around evil living. And it's GOING to rub off on them.

I'm not a social person. I'm a homebody; I like staying at home; I'm not good at making friends; I don't generally talk much. I didn't have a lot of trouble with that one for a long time. Then I got the internet while I was a stupid teenager. And after some time, I got comfortable. And evil communications corrupted good manners. To this day, my brain automatically hears innuendo in innocent things that I otherwise wouldn't have given a second thought. (Part of why I love my Zack - most of the time, he misses it completely and I don't have to think about it any further. There's no comment, no smirk, no look. It's not acknowledged. And that is SOOOOO refreshing. Even amongst Christians, there's usually SOMETHING. Not with him.)

Evil living rubs off on everyone. And thanks to internet and television, we have it brought into our houses. I used to watch a TV show. It was funny and quirky and the characters habitually said, "oh my god" usually many times in an episode. I started to catch myself thinking it. And then, one day, it came out. I don't know how, because I'd been thinking "oh my goodness," but it did. I stopped watching the show; it hasn't happened since. That happened to me as an adult; how much more is evil going to have an impact on young minds? Kids, who have a tendency to absorb EVERYTHING. Kids who learn to read by hearing their parents teaching their older sibling to read.

Can kids evangelize? Sure. All Christians are told to spread the gospel. But that doesn't mean you put them in a public school. That's like saying I should send my teenager into a slum because they need to evangelize. You can spread the gospel wherever you are; you don't need to make your kids spend six-eight hours a day in the world for them to talk to someone about their Lord Jesus.

Why?

Why do we make so many silly rules? Why do Christian colleges require that the guys have to shave? Why is it immodest if guys wear pants that are falling off but girls HAVE to wear pants that are that too large otherwise they're considered "tight?" Why is it that something that fits and shows that women have curves like God created is considered inappropriate? (Have you watched Little House on the Prairie? The dresses that Caroline Ingles wore are form-fitted - just like all dresses back then were. They were made to fit YOU. Now-a-days, many Christian colleges would say that's tight and immodest.)

Why is okay for a guy to go shirtless but not okay for girls to wear really short shorts? Why is women showing skin worse than men showing skin? Why is it bad for little kids to say "damn" but it doesn't bother us when adults do? Why is it okay for little girls to be more immodest than grown women? Why is it okay for slender girls to wear skimpier bathing suits (or tighter clothes) than heavier girls? Why is having fat rolls that can be noticed under clothing more immodest than having a slender body shape that can be noticed under clothing?

Why are pants immodest but straight skirts aren't? Why is wearing a knee-length skirt considered more modest than wearing full-length pants? Why do colleges require that girls have to wear skirts and nylons in extreme weather (either hot or cold)? Why is loose clothing more modest than fitted clothing? Why is it that people knowing what your normal shape is a bad thing? Why is it okay for guys to wear tight shirts but not women?

Some of these I've thought about over the years; some I came up with thinking back on things that I've seen and heard. I've picked them up from a variety of places - from family, friends, people I met at different churches, and colleges. Honestly, most of them I don't see any Biblical reasoning behind. If skin is immodest, it's immodest on men and women. If tight clothes are immodest, they're immodest on men and women. If skin is immodest, pants would be more modest than even a long skirt that has a slit. How do nylons make you more modest at ALL??? Skin tight and sheer - oh yeah, I get it now. (Sarcasm . . . . )

Double standards bother me as do rules for the sake of rules - especially when they are applied to people who are old enough to be thinking for themselves, like college-age students. I understand where some of it comes from; but some of it is just silly and has no Biblical basis at all. I think we need to be more careful where we get our rules and why we make them, especially if we have a tendency to look down on those who follow different rules.

Some Ponderings

I got saved when I was four. I don't remember a radical change in my life. I don't remember the time of day. I have no idea where I was. I don't remember which house we were living in, who was with me, what kind of prayer I said, etc. There's a lot about it that I have no idea. In fact, there is pretty much only ONE thing that I really remember - there was this feeling of relief and joy afterward. I think maybe I asked my mom to call Grandma, but I'm not sure. For a while, I wondered - if I don't remember, was that really when I got saved? Shouldn't I be able to remember something that huge?

Looking back, it seems kind of silly. But people always ask for your testimony, for the account of how and why you got saved. If you don't remember, how can you know? How can they know?

It's such a funny thought now. How many of us remember being born? Does that mean it didn't happen, or that it should be doubted? Does the fact that I don't remember mean that my parents don't KNOW that I was born, that I'm theirs? And really, how much does a memory prove something? I "remembered" my husband coming to bed at 4:15 this morning. He actually came to bed around 1am. And my memory is something I'm going to base the proving of my salvation on?? That was just last night - I'm trying to remember almost twenty years ago with my salvation!

I highly doubt that most people who grow up in Christian homes have a conversion experience like Paul's. It's not a stark difference kind of deal - because we grow up not being allowed to act like what we are. Our parents curb us and direct us and wall things off (and wisely so), and so we learn to be that way. And then when we get saved and WANT to be that way, there's not a huge outward difference.

So how do you know? I think the parable of the sower has the only answer - time will tell. Some look like they are, they continue for a while - but they leave. They fade. They go away. In the end, they're not. And it doesn't matter how much their conversion experience sounded like yours. And it doesn't matter how many years they've gone to church and how much money they've given. All that matters is where their heart is.

There were certain loved ones that I used to worry about because they didn't ever seem to show the same kind of longing and thirst for God that I saw elsewhere. I used to worry because, how do I know? How do I know that my cousin, my friend, my brother, my parents are actually God's? There are indicators of course - self-evaluation of whether or not you love the Church and such - but I think the only real test is time. And that's why it just doesn't really matter if you remember when exactly God saved you and what the circumstances were. That's not the measurement. The measurement is whether it lasts.

Political

I saw a post on Facebook this morning that claimed that Santorum is going to drop out of the race - it used the word "suspend" when talking about his campaign, but the idea was that he was out of it (or would be very soon). I'm not sure what the difference would be at this point between a suspension and quitting, but whatever.

I feel bad for the guy because at least part of it had to do with his daughter getting sick.

And then there's the question, "Is this good or bad?" Personally, I want Ron Paul. And I've always been very AGAINST Romney. So I'm a little scared. If Santorum's votes go to Paul, great! Somehow, I think Santorum might end up ENDORSING Romney though - the thought of which plays with my mind in unhappy ways and basically makes me want to cry because we're going to go from bad liberal to bad conservative.

The foreign policy problems people have with Ron Paul have gotten to the point where I find it funny. Honestly, we're going to worry about FOREIGN anything when we're imploding? If we don't fix the economy, there isn't going to be anything over here that's worth spending a missile on. Oh sure, we have big weapons - not much good when you have no soldiers because you can't pay them and they had to go learn how to farm in order not to starve. :)

That might be extreme; it might not. Who knows? If the economy comes crashing down though, I think the least of our worries is going to be foreign policy. We're going to have no money; no money equals no food; no food equals - no people. I'm going to guess illegal immigration won't be much of a problem at that point either.

Of course, it's all in God's hands, so I shouldn't be afraid. It would just make me very sad if all the people I know who wanted Santorum are now going to stoop to vote for Romney.

Rain, Rain, Comment

It's raining again. And windy. I like it. It reminds me of home. And of days with my little sister. I get to go home soon for a visit. Not SOON, soon, but soon. :)

One day while we were jumping on our trampoline, it was windy and we came up with a song together. It's our song. Someday when she's all grown up we'll probably laugh about it and she'll wonder how we were so silly. But for now, it's our song.

It's hard to write when things don't change much. It's almost my birthday and it doesn't feel like it could be. It's weird living here. The seasons aren't the same so in a way, I feel like time is never going by. Months pass and I wonder, "Where did that go?" Michigan weather makes things more exciting, I must say. Haha. Maybe we'll get an earthquake this year and that will be an event to mark off time.

I've started posting my compositions on Grooveshark. If you know my real name, you should be able to search for me on there (without needing to make a profile or anything) and find them all. I still haven't come up with what to do about the songs with lyrics. . . . I need a way to put the words up in time with the music - like on a Youtube video - but I don't know how to make a Youtube video. Haha. Plus, I don't much like YouTube.

And for the comment on two posts ago - wish I knew who you were, but thanks for commenting anyway. :) It's rare that this blog gets any traffic.