It's a Beautiful Morning!

Not really. It's the evening now. But it has been a pretty good day.

I'm on my mom's new laptop at the moment. Shh. Don't tell her. I didn't ask before she left if I could get on. ;) I would like a laptop. They have a specifc feel to them. A nice feel.

Dungeon Master is a fun game if you cheat at it. Hahaha. I used to never write "haha." I thought it sounded weird. I use it a lot more now and "hehe" a lot less. . . . . It probably means something. I'm not sure what though, so I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. :P

People are watching Street Fighter mini-movies. They're . . . . strange. ;) We should just watch Advent Chidren if we want to see cool fight scenes. lol

The weather has been really nice lately. No sun today. I was happy. I do like the sun somewhat now, but too much of it can get annoying. It just gets really warm, ya know?

I have nothing to write about these days. . . /shrug Maybe I'll go play more Dungeon Master. . . ;)

Another day, another week

Another month, another year - time keeps on a-going.

I have blue toenails right now. I like them blue, and it's a good blue. Kind of unique. Why should you care, you ask? You shouldn't really; I'm just setting the mood for the rest of the blog.

Dave and Kaylynn left today. Bleh. It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day though. Swimming anyone?

I'm playing the piano at the West Michigan Tea Party on July 4th. I'm kind of excited about it. I'm hoping that the day is nice, but not oppressively hot. Sweltering heat is not fun. . . I wonder what I should wear. . . I want to look nice, but not over-dressed. Comfortable, but snazzy. ;) lol I don't think I've ever looked snazzy in my life. . . Haha.

Mom cut my hair yesterday. I really like it. Well, I really like the one side of it, and the other, like usual, is annoying. The right side of my hair is never very nice-looking. I tried to fix it, but it didn't really help, 'cause the problem wasn't the hair-cut - it was my hair. lol

Piano lessons went okay today. I was happy. We took up all the time and I think they're learning, which is good. And they practice, which is a very important thing. lol It's very nice to have a bit of money again. . . Even if it's all going to go to my brother to pay for my phone. At least I get to keep my phone. =)

VBS is this week. We're only doing three days this summer, which I think is an enormous plus. lol I'm playing the piano for that, too. I like playing the piano for things. It makes me feel useful and it's something I know I can do. I'm quite thankful for being able to play and having people who were willing to teach/pay for me to be taught. Parents are blessed things, you know that?

I think I'm going to go for another bike ride today. I can't decide when I should go though. . . Hmmm. . . . I'm thinking sooner.

Jeff-fa-fa!

I sat down to write. And had nothing to say. And then I made a spelling error. Thankfully, my trusty shadow (AKA, little sister) caught it before I made a complete and utter fool of myself by publishing my post with a grammatical mistake!!! (Notice the extra exclamation points, which show just how much I do not mean what I'm writing. Yes, I'm like that.)

Read a book recently. Warbreaker. Good book. Lots of cool characters. Good plot. Liked the writing style. You should read it. If you heard it here first, I'll be shocked, but hey. It could happen. (She caught another one. She's like my personal spell-checker. I'm, oh, so blessed, aren't I?)

I've been working on a particular story since coming home from college. I don't really have anything else to say about it. It's just been on my mind because I can't seem to make much progress lately. Frustrations abound. Well. . . sorta. Yes, sorta. I know it's not a real word. :P But honestly, what makes a word real? It definitely has a specific connotation.

I've lost contact with most of my friends. It happened quite a while ago. I find it interesting that so long as I don't have any sort of friendly contact with people that I miss them an awful lot less than if I have a little. If I only get a little, I miss them way too much than is comfortable.

I'm like a seventh wheel around here. . . Or would it be ninth? /shrug Guess it depends on who's around, eh? Indeed. Good answer, smarty-pants.

Have you ever wondered what terrible things feel like? Like, say, getting shot? Not that you want to get shot, but just an idle curiosity of what that experience is like. It's like that conversation we had such a long time ago. If you get beheaded, how long does it take for you to actually die? Are you aware of stuff? Can you move your face muscles? I have a lot of curiosity.

My brother calls me morbid. Every now and then I decide to play the part. ;)

Blogs

I don't think anyone reads this any more. . . . Maybe Sam? /shrug Actually, no one else blogs any more. 'Cept Uncle Matt. Occasionally.

My brother got married ten-ish days ago. It was lovely. The ceremony went off without a hitch. I was able to hold it together until we walked out, though I got teary-eyed when Pastor was reading Scripture: "A three-fold cord is not easily broken." That one always hits me because we were three for so long. Sometimes I feel like it was put there just for my encouragment.

I'm glad Dave and Kaylynn are here. If they weren't, I'm afraid of how empty the house would feel. Truth be told, I'm afraid of how empty it's going to feel when they leave.

Joe (cousin) is getting married this weekend. My parents and Kaylynn are flying down to Florida to be there for it. That'll only be the second wedding I've missed, I think. This weekend is going to be quiet. . . Thursday, especially. Maybe Mike will come over for a bit. . . . with his family, of course. Silly people. :P

I start teaching piano lessons this Wednesday. I've no idea what I'm doing, so if anyone happens to read this and happens to think about it later, I'd appreciate some prayers. I've only taught my sister, and she already had a pretty solid foundation. I just picked up where her previous teacher left off. I don't know how to start from the beginning - I don't remember learning it.

I have a dilemma. Not really a dilemma so much as a situation to which I can see no solution, no real answer. Despite how much it impacts me, no one else knows any of the specifics. Despite me putting this in my blog, I'm probably not going to explain it to anyone anytime soon. lol (Most likely because no one reads my blog so it won't come up.)

Do you ever write a bunch of stuff in a blog or an email and then reread it and take half of it out? I do that constantly. Constantly rewriting, rewording. I edit my stories - stories that I have no intention of letting anyone else ever see - multiple times. I wonder if that falls under OCD. . . .

I got a lead on a job today. New jobs terrify me. Really. There are few things I fear more than stepping into a new job. Generally, I don't fear the unknown. I can shrug it off and trust myself to Providence. Jobs, I have trouble with.

A few days ago I was thinking, "I wish I knew that this was going to happen - it'd make it so much easier to be patient then." Ah, such a silly thought. "...Hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it."

The Countdown Continues!

When I was fourteen-ish I had this feeling that my brothers were going to get married and move away and I would be alone. It was a terrible feeling and it has never gone away, though the intensity of my reaction has certainly decreased a lot. In ten days, my fears will have been realized. TEN DAYS!! . . . . Oy vey.

I think Dad is trying to bring the house down. . . Literally. . . Feels kinda like an earthquake. lol

I want to go to California. Not for the sun, nor the beaches, nor the ocean. Not for the tan people, nor Hollywood, nor the glamor. I want to experience an earthquake. Also, it'd be cool to see Robin. :)

There have been a lot of people walking by our house lately. Generally, they annoy me because they're noisy, or I just ignore them. This year, I've taken up watching them. OH! So the other day was our big town garbage day (you can put out anything - like couches - and they'll take it away) and these two guys started going through our stuff, and the one guy looked like Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls. He had the blue cap on backwards and a beard and was about the same build (little heavier), and his clothing style was the same. I looked out my window and was like, "Luke Danes is going through our garbage!!" Luke is more handsome though.

Went swimming today. =) Made me happy. I've been looking forward to it for a couple months now. It's pretty much the only redeeming quality of summer - being able to go swimming.

Repetition

Okay, I know I just blogged about Dune, but really, the topic deserves another visit. Mostly because I just cannot get over how much I enjoy reading Mr. Frank Herbert's writing style. It's so. . . . Well, I really love it. And I've noticed that that's what makes or breaks a book for me. Writing style. It's not the story itself, nor even the characters that makes something interesting - it's the way you tell the story and talk about the characters. I can't stand Charles Dickens. I like his stories just fine, but his writing is dull.

This is why I say I enjoyed the written LotR story better than the movies, but I've only read them once, and I've watched the movies an extraordinary amount of times. Tolkien's writing style for LotR was not enough to lure me back to the books, whereas The Sil was written in a different tone and I did end up reading it again.

But enough about that.

I've been working on a story that I started soon after getting home from school. I read Dave's Name of the Wind and got this idea. Which I promptly began working on. I did quite a bit of writing, one of my larger projects, and then tapered off and started something else. I didn't have enough structure. Then I read Dune, and now I've been working on it again. As a consequence, it started in first person, which I really enjoy. But now I realize that it's not good enough. First person is both too limiting and too revealing. Now though, I have a problem. Because I could move into omniscient over-seer, which is what I generally use. Or I could change it to historian-type teacher. (Which is how Dune is written.) I'm thinking the second. For one, because I like it so much. Two, I haven't done it much. Three, it ends up being the only authority on the topic anyway, thus it has some of the same connotations as the omniscient approach. The biggest problem is that I don't know if I could do it justice. Not that any of it matters right now, as I have an awful lot of plot to get nailed down and set in order first.

I love writing. :) Stories are like puzzles that you have to figure out and fit together. If you do it right, the words end up painting a beautiful and unique picture.

Oh thnikaman. . .

It's May. . . Argh.

There's a lot of stuff going on this month. Mother's Day. Wedding. Another wedding. Mom's birthday. Yeah. . . Lots of stuff.

We set up our new pool today. It's filling as I type this. I hope it's as much fun as last year's was. I loved the pool. I went swimming almost every day after work. Good times.

Burn Notice comes back in less than a month. I'm sooooooooooooo happy. =D Everything else is ending now. And then we're pretty busy for the rest of the month and then Burn Notice is back. I take back what I said before about them being stupid and not coming back till the end of June. They have wonderful timing. AND! It has an earlier time-slot now. Oh yeah.

The BBC version of Pride and Prejudice is interesting. Darcy seemed like a totally different character but Elizabeth is almost exactly the same, only happier than Kiera Knightley's portrayal. (The majority of me doesn't care if I spelled her name wrong.) By the way, the library here has no Jane Austen books. How weird is that? And the card catalogue has been moved behind the check-out counter. . . Does that make sense?

I'm reading Dune Messiah now. I don't know if I want to. . . . But the writing style is so enticingly unique, I doubt I will be able to ignore it.

In a month, Mike will be married and moved out, Dave & Kaylynn will be moved in for their visit, Laura will no longer be in High School, and summer will be here. Kate'll be done with school; Burn Notice will be back on TV. What will I be up to? /shrug I certainly don't know. . .

Ah, fantasy fiction!

How I do enjoy it. =)

What's the difference between fantasy fiction and science fiction? SciFi makes me think of space ships and fantasy of magic. But I'm never certain with these things. . .

Finished another of those Dragonlance books. Raistlin was so the best character through the whole thing. Tasslehoff was second-best. The almost-ending was the best part and the actual ending was the worst, in my opinion, aside for that bit about Raistlin and the tower. I'm not one for the sappy goodbyes - like the end of Lord of the Rings. . . It just doesn't sit well with me when best friends go their separate ways and no matter if they're all cool with it. I'm not. . . Perhaps an indication of how dear I hold my friends. I would hate to have to let go of any of them so long as we're all living. (Slightly odd, seeing as I haven't been able to spend much time in the presence of most of my closest friends.)

But on to the reason for this post: Dune! The writing style was dry but quick. Almost toneless, like most old books are, but there was always so much happening that it couldn't be considered boring, and never too much description. Concise and always moving forward - there were no pauses. It was intriguing and hard to read every word because I wanted to skip through, to find the important things, but whenever I did, I found that I'd missed something. Someone had died. Some important insight had been made. I'd missed something and everything had importance. (Very much unlike WoT where you could skip whole pages.) And then you find yourself wanting the strange abilities of the people in the book - the Bene Gesserit who notice everything and can read people's motives by their tone and body language. Like Sean from Pysch - this isn't magic. This is talent and how cool would it be to be so talented?

Then, of course, there is the mystical element, the one that makes the hero the Hero. That makes him stand out from all the others. Wheel of Time drew something from Dune. There are females of power in Dune and then a young man comes along with a greater power. It's like that in WoT too. I perferred Dune. The females were actually smart in Dune, some of them almost admirable. Definitely meddling and thinking themselves better than others, but less snooty. And of course, my favorite character of the book, Alia, the hero's sister. She's quite awesome, though she's only in the last third of the book and not much at that. And she's only about four. Still my favorite character. Her and Duncan Idaho. Paul was cool, but it took too long for him to become it. Alia was sweet as soon as she entered the scene.

I really liked the little snipets of information between sections. Those were very cool. And they gave good information in a very unique tone.

Anyway. I enjoyed it quite a bit, and I think I'm going to get the next one, though I'm not sure if I should yet. . . I've been doing a lot of reading (Dune in two days) and should probably use my new-found venues of imagination, rather than crowd them over with yet more ideas.

Less than two hours

In less than two hours, I will no longer be a teenager. I will have passed into the life of twenties. (Not the 1920's.)

My uncle died in his twenties. . . Twenty-six, actually. I've thought for quite some time that 26 is a good age. He would have been thirty-two this year, I do believe. Six years can seem like a long time in ways. In others, it seems like it was just yesterday with a night full of dreams in between.

I have very detailed dreams. They used to get me into trouble because I wouldn't remember them upon waking up, but later they would come to mind like old memories. It took me a while to realize how to differentiate between the two. Sometimes I had to ask people if it ever happened. And they would look at me like I was crazy. Hehe.

It's been very windy today, and the wind is blowing my curtains out a little right now. Snow on any holiday seems to make it better. I think it's because of the anticipation of Christmas. There's just something about seeing fresh snow on the ground when you wake up in the morning. Yes, I'm hoping to wake up to fresh snow tomorrow. Although, I hope the roads stay good for my dad and brother. Mike has to work all night tonight. I'm going to miss him a lot when he gets married and moves out. . . :(

I'm very tired. But I really like my book, and I want to keep reading it. It's a Dungeons and Dragons book, Mike said. I never would have thought of it that way if he hadn't said anything. It's fantasy, like LotR or SW or WoT. I wouldn't have looked at the book and thought, "Oh, a DnD book!" I read through more than half of it, and there were plenty of dungeons and dragons and it never occurred to me. Who's going to point out those obvious things when he moves out? Who's going to Wikipedia my books and figure out the ending and tell it to me before I'm there? Hehehe. =)

You know, loneliness and homesickness are very similar feelings. . . Completely different reasoning for them, with completely different desires behind them, but the types of feelings are similar.

For reals this time?

I think so. But maybe not. . . It's hard to be sure.

Japanese is a really pretty language. If I could make an attempt to learn another language, I'd choose Japanese.

I've been writing a lot lately, but I keep writing different things, so I'm not really making any progress. At least it keeps me occupied.

C. S. Lewis is annoying. He has an interesting writing style, but really. . . He's just annoying. I'm reading Perelandra and I can hardly stand it. I can only read so much of it at a time. Nonetheless, I'm finishing the book. I think I'm finally to the last chapter. (There were only seventeen, and it took me like three weeks. . . An indication of how much I dislike the book.)

I can hear Robin Hood the Fox playing in the next room. . . It seems to be one of everyone's favorite cartoon movies, aside from me. But I don't care for most Disney movies at all, so I suppose it would be in the top five of it's genre. Does anyone care about this? Probably not. It has good songs.

I don't really want to go back to school. . . Maybe if I get a job, then I will. lol Suppose I'd better get a job.