The Ending. . .

"It's the ending, the ending of our story. The ending. The ending!"

Ahem. I have to go back to school tomorrow. . . It's really hard. Even if it is only for two and 1/2 weeks. . . It's rough. It's also really rough trying to do homework while you're at home relaxing. I mean, it's called Break for a reason. Oh well. Things must be done.

Good points about this week: 1) I got to see my family. :) I've missed 'em. 2) Jess came with. Made it more interesting. 3) Got to have Thanksgiving Dinner twice! Hehehe. There was so much pie. . . 4) I figured out that I don't have to get a new bow for my violin! =D And had an awesome time playing it. *content sigh* I love my violin. 5) I get to see my church people tomorrow. :) Yes, I called them "MY church people." Because you know what? They're family too. :) 6) I get to play in church tomorrow. It's been a while, and I miss it sometimes. Not the offertory, but the congregational playing. I miss that. 7) My car is still running. That's kind of amazing. 8) Oh, and it only cost me $14 to fill up. Not that it was on empty. But still. When I went to school at the beginning of the semester, that much gas would've cost me closer to $35. That's a big difference. 9) I've gotten hugs this week. :) Blessed family. 10) I have the most amazing parents.

Well, anyway. I didn't have a lot to say. Just not looking forward to going back, but so happy that I was able to come home. :) Holidays really are necessary things. =)

Happy Thanksgiving.

3rd Try

This is the third time this week that I've tried to write a blog entry. We'll see how it goes.

Church tonight was really good. It was from Micah 6: 1-8. Mostly verse 8 though. It was kind of interesting because I've been thinking about the need for humility a lot lately, and tonight that was one of the main points, and Pastor Loggans was talking about how we can be humble. Not that I'd never heard it before, or didn't know it, but it was different tonight because it really. . . applied directly, right now. It was cool. He also made an interesting correlation between thankfulness and humility as opposed to pride and ingratitude. That one I hadn't really realized before. Which was also cool.

These pringles have too much salty grease on them. . . Yet I still eat them. /shrug Addictive stuff.

It's only two days till Thanksgiving Break. =D How awesome is that! I'm excited. Well, I've been excited for like . . . a month, hehe. But I'm really excited. And it's only like 32 days till Christmas. When I come back from Break, I'll have, I think 20 days left of school. =) That is an awesome thought. I get to go home and stay home. :)

Water is good. It really is. For this health class I took, we had to drink 64 ounces of water every day. (Well, we were supposed to. . . Didn't really HAVE to.) It's crazy how much better you feel when you're drinking a bunch of water. Friday I didn't drink hardly anything. My skin dried out so badly. It was awful. Painful too. lol I still haven't recovered. Haha.

I think that Thanksgiving is going to be a smaller group this year. Hmm. Oh well. We'll persevere. =) Maybe we can play football! :D Futbol americano. Teehee. I have a Spanish test tomorrow that I haven't really studied for yet. I'll have to make my brother play a little no matter what. Bwahahaha! ;)

Arguments

I hate arguments. Debates, discussions - those are fine. Arguments, I'm beginning to despise. Arguments seem to be for the sake of contention, or the result of foolishness or outright sin. I hate them. I hate them yet the more when I'm the cause of them.

I think I made Dr. Morales rather unhappy with me today. I told him that telling us to memorize the whole chapter for the quiz when that's all we have to know for the test in two weeks didn't make much sense. But really, am I wrong? Quizzes are supposed to be parts of the chapter to help you learn each section before the test, aren't they? I don't get it. . . Oh well. I think he tends to get defensive easily because he's been attacked and stepped on before. . . . Hm.

5-page paper due Monday for my Biblical Counseling class. The only part about it that worries me is that we have to have 5 sources. I don't really understand the reason for sources. If what you say is logical and Biblical, what's the point of showing that other people agree with you? Why do people have to have the reassurance that other people agree with my point of view in order to change? Another mystery. I can understand if someone WANTS to put them in because other people have said things better. But to require them? . . . /shrug

My cousin and I have each been taking a Psalm per day and focusing on one statement that we get from it about God throughout the day. Well. . . Actually, I'm not really sure what exactly she's doing with it. . . . But we're keeping each other accountable to read a Psalm every day BEFORE school or work or whatever. Today's statement was, "The LORD is my King." Two days ago it was, "The LORD is my Father." There's an awful lot that goes into those few words. It's kind of incredible.

The past few days have been dreary and rainy. Cold rain makes me feel down. Snow makes me happy. . . Hehe.

Random info: Did you know that a "chemical imbalance" can't actually be proven as a real thing? So all those anti-depressant drugs? Yeah, no one knows how they work. Which makes complete sense as to why some people react completely differently to them than others. Why do some people get more depressed when they're on anti-depressants? 'Cause who knows what the drug is really doing! Also, bi-polar or manic-depressant isn't really a sickness or anything. It's just a description of behavior. I thought that was really interesting. . .

If I say or do something that strikes you as particularly arrogant, slap me. Or . . . the internet equivalent of a slap, I guess. I've been noticing an awful lot of pride in my life lately, so at least don't let me exercise it if you can help me, okay? Thanks!

Giving of Thanks

I owe my brother money again. . . And I owe my cousin money. . . And I owe my roommate. . . And I owe the girl down the hall. . . I'm starting to see a pattern here. And I don't like it. On the other hand, it's very nice of all those people to lend me money till I can pay them back (which shouldn't be too long). I should really probably stop spending money. . . And I should really take that thing back to Wal-mart because that's another $15 or so. . . And I need to fill up my car. . . Hm.

But anyway. Giving of Thanks. We went through the book of Psalms today in OT Survey. I like the Survey classes. You have to read a lot really fast, but otherwise, they're really good. General and broad, but sometimes we get so into the details, we miss the big picture. Or we just forget to teach the big picture to the younger generation completely. Anyway. I like the Psalm of Moses. Somewhat because it was written by Moses and I like the little caption above it. "A Psalm of Moses, the man of God." It makes me happy. I hope that it can/will be said/written of me when I'm dead for 3500 years that I was a woman of God.

I'm not a very thankful person. Most of the time, I don't see a need for the nice things people do for me. It's sort of a "Well, thanks, but you really didn't have to" type thing. . . I just don't really care if they're nice or not. Most of the time. But it's not supposed to be about what I think. It's about what they did, and that they thought about me and were nice enough to go beyond normal bounds. And so they should be thanked and appreciated.

I got more work today! =D YES! Have I mentioned I love my little job? It's awesome. Getting to read and type class notes for Bible classes is the best thing ever. Haha. Yeah, it's awesome. I love it. I'm going to miss it. . . The rest of school? /shrug

Oo! I just found my pencil! :D (I've had it for like eight years and I couldn't find it. Not a big deal, but I like the pencil.) It's a good day. Rainy and dreary outside, but a good day. 13 days. =)

Spiritual Things

A little while ago, God began to show me some things in my life that weren't anywhere close to where they should be, and how I'd lost my focus. In essence, I was like the church at Ephesus - I'd left my first love and even though I was still doing everything I'd been doing before, there was no joy in it. There was no thrill to being in church, to playing the piano for the service, or being in the Word. The joy of the Lord - and thus, my strength in life - had been taken away.

Last summer, I felt weary all the time. There were good days still, but mostly, I felt exhausted. I thought it was because I didn't sleep as much as I had been. No doubt that was part of it, but now I think it was mostly because I was so focused on me. It took me half the semester, getting more and more depressed with life when finally a friend of mine said something to me. It was completely unrelated to my problem, but my response to it was awful. And I knew it was awful. That just shows how the Holy Spirit can use anything to show a person their shortcomings. (It's really cool in hindsight. At the time I kinda felt like I'd been slapped in the face. And that I totally deserved it.)

Today was amazing. For a few reasons. First, the preaching was awesome. Or maybe it was the same as always and God was just working in my heart more. Second, my cousin and I got to spend the afternoon together and pray and discuss our spiritual needs and short-comings and things we can do (in the strength God is pleased to give us) to fix them. It was great. :) And then tonight, in the choir we sang this song from Romans 8. . . For a long time (years; maybe many years; it's one of those things I don't ever remember really not being there), I've struggled with being able to trust myself. I mean, we all know the verse Jeremiah 17:9. Our hearts are deceitful. So how can I ever know that what I'm doing is right? I mean, since God's will isn't laid out for us in step-by-step, specific, daily instruction, how do I know what's best in the decisions I have to make every day? Romans 8 - the last part of the chapter - it says that nothing can separate us from the love of God which we have in Christ Jesus our Lord. Every sermon or reference that I've ever heard to those verses has never mentioned that includes us. I can't separate me from the love of God any more than being on a mountain can. God will protect me from my wicked heart just as much as He'll protect me from anything else.

Realizing that was . . . a big relief. =) God is good to us. :) It's amazing to me in moments like this that we can complain about things like the weather. Or the food in the dining hall. Or. . . the walk up the three flights of stairs in Old Main. I mean, seriously. . . Sometimes, we're worse than the Israelites. But God has yet to send a bunch of snakes to kill us. "For His mercy endureth forever."

We lost

Politics: Alas. I really feel bad for our country. I mean, McCain would not have been awesome. Not even close, but Obama is just so far out there. . . At least, I'm not an unsaved Republican die-hard. If I were, it'd be oh, so much worse.

Weather: It's in the 70s here in Wisconsin. Monday was actually balmy. I was kinda grossed out, but anyway. My parents are in Florida and it's in the 40s. I had this feeling of dread that that's exactly what was going to happen. Dread, because they really wanted to have an awesome time, and seeing as they went to Florida, they were kinda hoping it'd be nice. Also, Dread because I knew that it was going to be in the 70s again this year, here in the Midwest, and I just don't like that. I mean, in June-August, I'd be happy with 70s and no higher. In November? . . . . We should have snow. At least a few inches of it. Enough to cover the grass.

Family: I get to go home for Thanksgiving in 20 days. =D How cool is that!?!? :D Pretty cool. Some people don't get to. I feel very bad for them. . . I'm so excited about it. :) 20 days! That's so close. It's like, right around the corner.

Religion: It was society chapel today, so we didn't really hear any preaching. I miss hearing lots of Dr. Phelps' messages. Last semester, it was like three times a week, he'd preach to us. It was awesome. Oh well.

There's this guy in my Spanish class who got rather unhappy with one of the faculty because he was talking about how we all need to be Baptists. The guy, Tim, was really bothered by it because he doesn't call himself a Baptist. I haven't actually talked to him about it, but I'm kind of hoping to be able to bring it up, because I'm almost positive that he is. He just doesn't call himself one. Which is so stupid. . . . . He seems relatively reasonable, but we'll see. Maybe. . . If it comes up.

Well, I'm off. To . . . do something. I don't know. Maybe take a nap. . . I'm still sick. This cough is really annoying. I could not sleep last night because every time I breathed, I started coughing. Heh heh. *hack, cough*

Election Day

Not to be a downer, but I think the Hussein-Biden ticket is going to win.

I voted today. It was cool. I didn't really think it'd be anything special, maybe just kind of nerve-wracking 'cause I didn't really know what I was doing, but it was actually rather thrilling. Afterward, I was walking out, and I was thinking, "Ya know. . . I just voted for a presidential candidate. I just voted for some good pro-life US Representatives. How cool is that!!" It was easy too. Except there were two referendums on there and I had no idea what they were about. I didn't vote on them. That kinda made me feel bad. But no one ever talked about them! There was no literature handed out about 'em. None of the professors mentioned them. I didn't even know they were going to be on there. I suppose it's my fault. Yeah, okay, it's completely my fault. /sigh

I only had one class today because the other one got canceled. It was awesome. Wonderful day. I slept. lol I probably shouldn't have though because I felt kinda yucky when I woke up. Oh well. Now I can stay up late studying for my test en espanol. Bleh. Hehe.

I finished my job today. Took me about five hours to decipher and type up 18 pages of hand-written notes. The cool part is five hours is pretty much exactly what I'd estimated it would take after I saw the papers. I like it when that happens. :)

I'm still sick. You'd think with all the sleep I've been getting and all the oranges I've been eating, that I'd be better by now. . . . Well, as long as I'm better by Saturday, I'll be happy. At least better enough that I can sing. I should probably explain why. . . . . (Tempting not to, but probably no one would care if I didn't. . . . . Whatever. lol)

So Saturday a group of us Spanish-speaking students are going to this church in Brookside for their anniversary (3rd year of their Spanish outreach ministry). We're going to go and sing and I might be playing the piano and I don't really know what else is going on. I think someone is preaching. . . I hope it's not all in Spanish, because I really don't understand much, but it should be cool. The only uncool part about it, is that Dr. Morales isn't going. It's his son's birthday. . . . :( Oh well. Happy birthday, Drew.

My mom needs to write me an email. Or maybe I need to write her. . . . She's in Florida, and I'm starting to feel the effects of being deprived of my daily dose of home news.

No School!!!

So because our President is awesome, he declared tomorrow a holiday and we don't have any classes! :D :D :D I LOVE Dr. Phelps!!! =D Not just because he gives us days off. Also, because he seems like a really good and trustworthy man, and I like his preaching. Makes me feel like I'm at home or listening to my Uncle Pete or something. :)

We rearranged our room yesterday for "devotions." It's more like room-bonding time. Really. If it even happens at all, it's pretty much all of us just doing something together. Last week, we made signs for our door. (Personal info signs.)

I'm going to try to get ahead in my homework tomorrow. I don't think it's going to be easy though. I think I'm going to want to take the day off. But if I work tomorrow, then maybe I can take like . . . half of Saturday off or something. :) And sleeping in will be good no matter what happens.

We have a very strict "bed-time" tonight. Hehe. We're all supposed to be in bed with all the lights off by eleven. Usually, we just have to have the big light off and be off the internet. By midnight, we're supposed to have the lights off and be trying to sleep. So it's a little different tonight. It makes me wonder if the guys are doing it at all or not. . . . I mean, really. The guys are the ones who stay up till 2am playing video games. It's extremely rare that a girl would do that. At home, I might. At school? Nope. Even if I could, I wouldn't. lol

I miss playing cards with my siblings.

Locking your roommates out of the room three times in one night is kind of fun. They don't like it so much, but. . . yeah, it's funny. :) I bring my keys with me everywhere. Hehe.

I strained my hand last night playing lots of octaves on clarinova pianos for an hour. It hurts today. So I didn't play at all today. I probably should have. Oh well!

I'm going to enjoy my day off tomorrow. =D You all should get a day off. Do you for Halloween?

Snow!!! :D

It's about time it snowed. I mean, it's already late October. Don't worry though; most likely it'll get pretty warm again in November. /sigh I like winter. I like the cold. And I like snow. Mostly, I like wind. Wisconsin's wind doesn't disappoint. =)

I found out today that I was five more days than I thought till I get to go home. . . . It made me sad. I miss home. I miss our yard. And I miss jumping on the trampoline in the fall. I miss Mike randomly deciding that we should go throw the football around for a while. I miss Katie coming and singing with me at the piano. I miss my piano, out of tune as it is.

Midterm grades came in today. I have four As, an A-, and one B. Not bad, but I'm not taking very many credits. I kind of wish I had more and then sometimes I'm happy with how it is. I don't know what to do next though. I mean, I have a plan. . . . I'm just not crazy wild about it. Oh well. Guess you just learn to deal with some things.

I came into this semester and looked at my four roommates and was worried about only one. Funny thing, she's now like my favorite. Hehe. It's weird. Last semester I kind of thought she was stuck up and not friendly and kind of crabby all the time. She's not. She's just rough around the edges a bit, which I actually find refreshing after spending time with my other roommates. lol Jess is a total goody-two-shoes and very opinionated about it. VERY opinionated. I thought I was bad. Not even close. And Brie just acts really blonde. I tend to have little patience with people like that. Which is not to say I don't get along with them. I do. We hang out quite a bit. It's just refreshing to have Ally around now and then.

Who is the fourth roommate you ask? Hannah. She's cool. She's probably the most balanced of us all. She's smart and down to earth and yet she can have the most hilarious blonde moments. She's just incredibly busy and so I hardly see her. Which is much like it was last semester too. Hehe.

I have all my homework done early today. And I'm ahead again in my OT reading. Yay! :) That was a total accident. Hehe. I thought all of Job was due today but it was only the first half. So now I'm like 30 chapters into Psalms. Whoohoo. :) I'm going to try to get way ahead in that over Thanksgiving too. Not sure how well that will work, because I don't generally do well with school on vacations, but I can try. I should probably do more homework tonight and I probably will just because going to sleep before 11pm is pretty much impossible for me in a room with four other people. . . /shrug

I've been saying "like" more. . . . . It bothers me. Pretty much all my roommates say it twice a sentence. Or more sometimes. It bothered me more at the beginning of the semester, but I guess I got used to it. Thankfully, I haven't started typing with an excessive amount of "like"s yet. Hehe. If I do, someone hunt me down and slap me.

Twice.

Guess which day it is.

That's right. It's Saturday. This one wasn't as bad as some. Not great. But not bad. People were actually around a little to talk to. That's always cool.

I wonder sometimes if I'm too independent of people. . . But how can you not be when you know that no matter what people do you're going to be fine? I mean, really. . . . There's nothing that someone can do that will forever hurt me. There is no hurt or sorrow or pain that can continually overwhelm me. Because eventually, even if it hurts for the rest of my life here, I'll die. And then I'm fine. Better than fine, actually. But you get the idea.

So am I too independent? Is it bad to not need anyone for anything? Is it bad to make sure I don't have to depend on someone? It's safer. But it's a lot more lonely. If only people were trust-worthy. If only people didn't disappoint. But they do. /shrug

There was a formal-ish event at school on Thursday. It was in celebration of the 40th anniversary of Maranatha. It was pretty cool and all about the founder and how God worked in his life to allow him to get MBBC started. It was very interesting and the music was good. And Mr. Vegter was amazing. I went alone. My roommate says not to say that because we sat together. . . But we didn't go together. It's just not the same thing.

Well, it was a not so eventful week. In closing, if your parents didn't have children, chances are you won't either.