Phone!

I bought a phone. It's small, it's awesome - I love it. :) Call me. Or text message. Those are fun and addicting. Weeeee!

The hamster escaped sometime last night. I went to work without knowing where it was. I came home and we still didn't know where it was. I watched NCIS and wondered where it was.

It's cold again. :D I'm happy.

I love Fall. I love trees. I love the changing seasons and all the colors. The color of orange leaves is the only time I like the color orange. True story.

So we put out all the garbage for the special garbage day, but we forgot the regular bag. . . . Yeah. . . . Someone shoot me.

Mike is now debt free. Why, you ask? Because I remembered all the times he paid for bowling and stuff. Plus, he took me to get my phone and bought pizza like a gazillion times while our parents were away.

I can't wait till Saturday. I'm so looking forward to not having to get up. One day with no alarm set. Mmmmm. :D I love my Friday nights. :D

My cousin is getting married in 11-12 days. . . Yep. That's two in two months. She has a shower on Saturday. I think I'm going but we'll see.

Why is that whenever you buy gas, the prices drop ten cents the next day? *shrug* Life is out to get you. Tread carefully.

We found the hamster sleeping in Katie's room. We put it back and all is well.

I need to go to bed now. It's late. Wishing you all a wonderful month of October.

~Jenn~

Day off

So it's Tuesday. And I'm not at work. This is not a good thing. As much as I like a day off from work, I like my Saturdays off much better. People think I'm weird. I don't like going into work the same time every day. But I love doing the same things. I like working the same days, but not at the same times. Everyone I used to work with liked it just the opposite. They loved that we didn't do the same things at the same place, but they liked that we worked the same hours. I hated it so incredibly much. Thankfully, God gave me a new job. God is good. We don't say it enough.

But back to it being Tuesday and me not having to work. So I dyed my hair. Or rather Mom dyed my hair while I watched in the mirror. Moms are great that way. Even though I probably could do it myself, she does it anyway. Maybe it's a bonding thing. Sometimes I actually miss her doing my hair. Maybe I'll ask her to French-braid it some Sunday. . .

My hair is so cool-looking right now. :D It's so dark and ooooOO!! :D I love it. I think I'm going to keep it black till summertime.

So I'm losing my phone around . . . . Hmm, I forgot. Not good. Hmmm. Oh well. I'm losing it soon. Within a month I think. So I need to get my own now. (For some reason it strikes me funny that "own" and "now" both have the same letters and I just used them both in a row. Hehe.) Whoohoo. New phone. . . . And my very first bill. lol That second part I'm not so much looking forward to.

Mike owes me twenty bucks. Just so the entire world can know. ;) lol

So what should I do today? I have a day off. Nothing scheduled except the hair-dying which is done. . . . Hmmmm. I've no ideas. I'll talk to Mom. Maybe Robin will call! :D But if we plan stuff her calling could be a not-so-great thing. . . . Hmmm. What to do, what to do.

I miss my friend. He went to Ireland. Haven't talked to him hardly at all lately. I miss him talking to me.

I really like my hair. :D *evil, giddy laughter* :D

So why am I not working today? Well, because we're having these inspections on Saturday. Yeah, I know. We just had inspections, but whatever. So I have to work it. In a way it's kind of nice because that means I'm someone they want there - someone they can trust to do things right and work hard. In another way, it's annoying because I'm going to be nervous and have to deal with whatshisface AND the customers. My hope is that I'll be in Front Drive-Through. Or in grill wrapping the sandwiches, but I doubt they'll put me there. We'll see how it goes. Brian (previously known as "whatshisface") is an okay guy though.

A dilemma

So my violin gives me a rash. Yeah. . . . I break out in hives all over my neck after playing it. Not good, to say the least. But not a big deal, if I can just remember to not let it touch my skin. :)

I don't know what to play. I never do, but now I have like three things I need to play for. Grr. And I don't know what to sing tomorrow. Maybe I still won't be feeling well enough. . . lol

I need to write an email, but I really don't feel like it. . . . . Oh well. Gotta do what ya gotta do.

I got a raise, so I'm now making as much as my brother who's been working at the same job for like half as long as I have. . . . Either he's really, really good, or his manager brags about him a lot more. Or worse, maybe I'm slacking. . . . :/

I think I'm going to get stuck in back DT a lot more now. . . which kind of rots. Cause Sara had to change her hours up. Grr. I like to be in grill.

I learned something new yesterday. Actually, yesterday was pretty much a great day. :D Yep. Great day, yesterday.

I want to go shopping. I don't often want to go shopping, but I do right now. Unfortunately, I'm tired and I don't really want to go shopping at this minute. I just want to buy stuff, not walk around looking for the stuff to buy. lol Maybe I'm confused.

Or maybe YOU'RE confused. *evil laugh*

I just remembered I need to write two emails. . . . *sigh, mutter, grumble* I think they can wait till after supper. Hah.

Dustin wants to go bowling again. . . lol Yeah, he was talking about it and telling me how he's going to be in two different leagues and wants to do it just for fun too. The scariest part was how excited he seemed. . . . Yeah. Bowling. . .

I need to dye my hair this weekend. People also need to come over this weekend. And next time Mike and I go somewhere with peoples from work, we need some new people. lol I guess that's it.

We bare our souls and tell the most appalling secrets!

Me revealed! Gaspar!

Ahem. So I have this problem. I get lonely. Like. . . REALLY lonely, where it hurts so bad that I end up crying myself to sleep type of lonely. And I know it's dumb and that I shouldn't be, but. . . sometimes knowing just doesn't change things. Lots of times it does, but sometimes. . . it doesn't work. That's why I talk a lot about getting married and wanting a boyfriend and stuff. I want someone to love and to love me. It's not that I feel unloved or that I don't love those around me - I do! A lot! It's just a completely different kind.

My brother tells me I worry about it too much. That I shouldn't think about it. And he has a point - it's not like I'm old or anything. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid that because I don't NEED someone, I won't get someone. That since I can live without, I'll have to. There are people who are completely and utterly convinced they need someone - that that is what's for them. I'm not. I just want it really, really bad. But I don't need it. So it scares me, because wants aren't always granted. Needs are. Bottom line, I wish that I needed what I want. I can survive on my own. (Well, not really my own. I need God's help.) Everything else is extra. Family. Friends. Guys. It's all . . . fluff, almost. It's cushioning. It's not necessary. That's scary to me.

But on to less depressing thoughts.

I think the guy at work who had a crush on me is getting over it. Not sure, but I think so. Which, I suppose, is good. But to be completely honest, I like the attention.

People are going bowling tomorrow night. . . Yeah, I don't know if I want to. I mean, it was okay last time. It was fun. . . sorta. The actual bowling was boring, but the people were cool. Some of 'em. . . lol I don't know. They're not my kind of people. Heh. *shrug* Mike gets along with them though. I only like Beth, really.

The Firetruck parade is tonight. . . Yippee? Yeah, I don't know anymore. I don't know if anything has really made me happy the past three days. . . Wait, no. Wednesday was three days ago. . . I was happy then. We had church. :) Anyway - last two days. I've laughed and stuff, but. . . not really happy, and then that bothers me because I don't like having to depend on other people to be happy. In fact, I pretty much hate it. And yet. . . . I've been sucked in.

It was easier when no one talked to me. . . . Like when I thirteen-fifteen. . . Katie was two-four. She got most of the attention. Dave was working/going to college and so was Mike. I wasn't doing anything. There was nothing to talk to Mom about 'cause we were in school together all day driving each other batty. And Dad worked. It was easier then. I didn't talk to them, so I didn't need to. Now I find that I need to talk to Mom or I can't unwind. That I feel SOOOOOOO much better if I do. . . . She's afraid I'll go away and not talk to her. Ha. lol She's stuck with me now. If I'd gone right after graduating? Yeah, probably wouldn't talk much. But now. . . Things change. =D

Anyway, enough of me. I think that's part of my problem. I'm so sick of me. I need someone to love - someone who talks to me about every little thing that happens, so instead of being immersed in my own head, I can be immersed in his day. . . . Yeah. . . I'm sick of me.

In closing, a verse that I really, really love. "Turn us again, O LORD God of hosts; cause Thy face to shine and we shall be saved." <---- There are three verses in that Psalm that are really similar, but every time the Psalmist changes the title he gives God just a little. I like how it starts with God turning us too. It's one of those little pointers at God's sovereignty.

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That Thing You Do

So. . . . My cousin's getting married in two days. That's just weird.

I think all my friends are gone again. . . Hmmm. I wonder if there's a song about that. Probably. Speaking of songs, there's this one, called, "That thing you do." Good song. I like it. It's kind of upbeat though for the words. Ah, well. *shrug*

I feel like making something or writing something, but I don't know what. . . . I need to buy some yarn. . . Hmmm. Maybe tomorrow after work. . . Though if it's really hot, I'm so not going to want to go shopping. . . . Hmmm. Pray for more rain, methinketh.

There have been great thunderstorms lately. :D It's SO COOL! :D Thunderstorms make me giddy. I was home (mostly alone) the other night and I almost went out into the torrential downpour. . . I didn't think my mom would think that was a very good idea though. It's crazy the amount of power she has. lol She wasn't even there. Never had to know. I still didn't do it because she wouldn't think it was a good idea. Mothers. ;)

I wish I knew how to do things really well without having to be taught. . . lol It'd be neat to just know. . . Some peope can do that. I'm not one of 'em.

I think this weather is really messing with our instruments. . . The piano sounded absolutely horrible on Wednesday. It was so. . . . Bleh. It was pretty awful. I blame the humidity. And my violin has been more out of tune lately than normal too. It's kind of annoying to have to constantly be trying to get it right. I should probably get used to it though. Hehe.

We watched Walk the Line tonight. It was sad. . . kind of. I thought it was okay. I liked Reese Witherspoon a lot in it and of course, I always like Joaquin Pheonix. (Plus, he just has that awesome name. . . even if it's not his real name. . .) Anyway. Movie made me want to be a singer. lol Despite every bad thing that happened. Almost the entire movie was bad things happening to him, though most of it was his own doing.

And what's up with Dogget (AKA the T-1000 of Terminator) playing the part of the mean dad in movies lately? He does it so well too. . . That always makes me wonder. . .

Well, I'd better get going. "Feeling Good' is another good song. :) "Birds flyin' high, you know how I feel. . . "

My apologies

Sorry it's been almost a month since I've posted. I've been busy. . . and tired. And. . . stuff. Actually, I still feel busy and tired. Ha. Anyway. Life. . . Hmmm.

Work is going well. I like it. Kinda dreading next week because neither Beth nor Telah are going to be around and I'm not sure who's going to be working. That could be okay or a big pain. . . . Hopefully, most of the time it'll be Jen. Jen's cool. With Beth and Hope leaving/quitting, maybe I'll be up for a raise. . . :) One could hope. That could help with my college plans. Also, it'd be nice to put on a future resume. I was a manager at 18. Yeah, that'd be nice. It's not great, but it's better than just having been a normal crew-person.

There's a rumor that Heather might come back. Though, I'm not sure if they'd let her because she has a few more piercings and stuff now, I think. . . . *shrug* I don't think she'd want to anyway, but there aren't many jobs so . . .

Beth invited me to go bowling with her and a bunch of her friends. . . I don't know them, and I don't really enjoy bowling. Actually, I just don't like games. But that's a whole different topic. So do I go? Or do I use the excuse that it's a Saturday night and I can't be out that late? What if it's not that late though? . . . Hmmmm. Wisdom is a thing to be sought after.

My boards are back. =D I'm happy about that. Although. . . . None of the cool people have been on much. Pallando, WE (Robin), and Talon (Ethan, er. . . Evan ;)) are all in college. Why did everybody have to go to college? lol Oh, well.

I'm going to be so bored this semester, I think. . . . Thankfully, I should be working about 40 hours a week, so that should keep me mostly busy and keep my mind off of despressing subjects. . . . Like how my cousins are all getting married. . . . Great for them, less fun for me. (Not to sound selfish, but it IS my blog. . . . Okay, I'm just selfish. I'm sorry.)

The violin is going well. I think I'm making progress. I think I have an easier time "plunking" out tunes, so to speak, on it. I wonder why that is. . . Sometimes I could swear my fingers know things better than my head. Hehe. I hear a note in my head and my fingers play it without me having to figure it out. It's so cool. =D

My uncle wrote this poem and I have music to it in my head, but I need to fix it. I should work on that sometime. . . It's not easy. My "compositions" are all simple, short pieces that I just put together. lol It ends up sounding disjointed (probably cause it is). That's probably because I don't put enough effort into it though. . . Or time. . . Heh.

I miss Mike. . . We don't get to see each other as much. . . . :( Bleh.

Kaylynn is cool. I gave my blessing. Which is all that really matters. Dave knows this. ;)

In the Bleak Mid-Summer

For the record, there were neither cashews, nor juice boxes on our trip and I think certain people would have been much less grouchy had there been. Next time, it's a must, people.

It's been really hot lately. I don't like it much. Thankfully, the other day we had this incredibly wonderful storm. It was so cool and inspired my new doodling on the piano. Hopefully, this one won't get shelved.

So all these weddings coming up have me thinking about vows and music and colors. . . . . It's not good, let me tell ya. Then again, if I only have a two-to-three-month engagment like I want, I suppose it'll be good to know some details, eh? Whatever.

I found this song called The Moon Is Mine. I really like it. It's a nice little song and I can play it on the violin. Speaking of the violin, I really need some new material for that. . . . I don't ever know what to play and then I think of something and then I can play it and it's not hard enough. I need something not simple but easier than the Butterfly, 'cause I just can't seem to get that one. . . I don't think I'm going to be able to fiddle much. :(

I think when I go to college, I'm only going to write emails home. No phone calls. Well. . . . I might call Mike now and then just because I'm going to miss him so. . . . But yeah, emails. Dad always calls me sweetheart or "pumkin" (it's spelled wrong on purpose) when he writes back. . . . It makes me giggle.

People at work like me. . . Granted, I get along pretty well with most of them, but even the ones I don't like seem to like me just fine. . . . Which is slightly annoying because then they talk to you and you have to be nice. lol But oh well. Better than them hating me, I guess. . . . Maybe not. It's kinda funny when people hate me. Hehehehe.

Something that I love: Socks. *wiggles toes*

Something that I hate: When adults act like children.

^It's like "Good Idea, Bad Idea," except completely different!

I've been rereading my brother's show. It is soooooooo funny! :D I've so got to make sure I have access to them when I go away. 'Cause there are going to be days when I need to giggle endlessly and that oughta do it. I wonder if I can stay with Steff. . . . . If I could, I could just take my whole computer out there. . . . I wonder what Mom is going to do to my room when I leave. . . . *looks around anxiously* ;)

Bleh

My feet hurt really badly. My boards are now dead. It's really hot out, my car needs gas (Dave. . . :P) and lastly, I haven't been able to talk to my friends for close to three weeks. Urgh.

On the upside, I don't have to work for a week, and we've got a road trip coming up. :D Weeeee! I'm told there will be cashews and juice boxes, so I'm excited. I really need to see about getting all the other days off that I'm going to need though. Like those three for the Bible-preservation conference, and then whenever my other two cousins are getting married. . . I wish I were going to school this year. . . Hmmm. More prayer.

I had to cut the schedule at work today. It's kind of fun. It makes me feel kind of nosy though. lol "Oh, that's what you're working, hmm? Interesting."

Telah rearranged the whole store so I could come home a little early today. She's cool that way. :D My ankle still looks weird. Hehe. But it's feeling a lot better, so that's good.

You know, things that happen to you are much less fun if you don't have anyone to tell them to. Yeah. . . . Wake up, Mike. ;)

Argh, my feet. . . Tis what happens when you have to stand on one foot all day. . . It gets tired four times as fast.

I am happy, oh, so happy!

*singing* I'm so happy and here's the reason why: my boards aren't crashing anytime soooo-ooon! :D YAY!!!! Yes, I'm relieved and happy and I'm seriously considering running up and down the stairs a few times or dancing around Mom, hugging her. I bet it'll come out after church. . . I just bet.

Poor Mikey has to work tonight. *tsk, tsk* Not going to church. You're as bad as Kaylynn, Mike. ;P

Oh! Another reason to be happy. So I'd totally lost my imagination for like three months and the other day I went outside ('cause it was absolutely gorgeous out there - best day of summer by far) and I jumped on the trampoline and stuff and my mind kicked back into gear. Yippeeee! :D It's great.

Today was a good day at work. . . Telah, one of the managers, is so great. Hehe. She's awesome. And Jarrod was actually pretty cool today too. And Heather and I were talking a little bit, which we've not really ever done before. (Heather T, not Heather G. Heather G. I've talked to plenty.)

The wedding is getting really close! :D I'm excited. I have no clue what I'm going to wear though. . . Hehehe. Oh well. What's it going to matter? I doubt anyone is going to be paying attention anyhow. Hehe.

*dances and twirls and grins* I'm happy. :)

Another day has come and gone

I had to work today. I don't like Saturdays, but of all the ones I've had to work, this was the best. Strange, 'cause I thought it might be the worst what with the broiling heat and the pain I've been having. Curses on pain. It just makes things difficult. How are you supposed to work when pain is spreading from your right side to your back and it's so intense you can't move? I don't think anyone knows. It's a great mystery of life. ;)

My brother's birthday was today. :) I love my brother. He's a cool, cool guy. And he got a job at my McDonald's. Sweet bananas! It'll be interesting, that's for sure.

I need someone to whom I can show affection. . . Or myabe I should just not watch movies like Pride and Prejudice. . . Hmmmm. Nah. That movie is great. =D They're all so cute! Hehehehe! I like Mr. Bingley. He's funny. Kinda like Ron from Harry Potter. Maybe it's just that they're both red-heads, but I kept equating them while watching P&P this last time.

*sing-song* Dave and Caelyn sittin' in a tree. ;) (Btw, Kaylin? Kaelyn? Caylin? There's waaaaaaaaaaaay too many ways to spell that. Heh.) I like it when people like each other. They're so adorable. :)

Tomorrow is the first Sunday of the month. It's also black day. . . What to wear. . . What to play. I've no ideas, and it's getting later. Not going to figure it out tonight, but at least I can say I thought about it, right?

I like the Japanese language. I think Asian people are pretty. However, when a bunch of them come in to work, it'd be cool if they had less of an accent, or someone who could . . . translate or something? Yeah. . . They have such great hair though, I think I can forgive them. lol *shrug*

I want to read or write or compose something and I'm not making much progress. I thought I had an idea about writing something, but I just have no drive. . . Hmmm. What to do. . .

I like the name Ethan Daniel. No one else can have it. I've claimed it and it's in writing, so ha! :P So is Elicia Jade. I'm working on more. Give it time.

I've never even been asked out on a date and I've already got kids' names picked out. . . . Hmmmmmmm. . . . If guys are like they are in movies/shows, I'm sunk. Hehehe. Then again, according to *cough! hack!* I'm sunk anyway, so whatever. ;)

I was told today I don't talk. . . . . *shrug*